Vegas Jokes

Why have no melons ever gotten married in Vegas?

Because they can't elope!

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Why couldn't the watermelon get married in Vegas?

Because his fiancee is a cantaloupe!

Why didn't the melons get married in Vegas?

Because they cantaloupe. This joke was brought to you by Dads inc.

What does Tupak Shakur have in common with Lethal Weapon 4?

Both were shot in Vegas

What's the hottest hotel in Vegas?

The Cosmopolitan

What does Tupac Shakur and Oceans 13 have in common?

They were both shot in Vegas!

Why was the rooster happy after his trip to Vegas?

He got clucky.

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What is the most tried and true method to getting a small fortune?

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Why won't the honeydew marry the watermelon?

Because they cantaloupe..

Why was the baby Honeydew sad?

Because it was Meloncholic

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She looked very Theroux-ly.

Why couldn't the watermelon get married in Vegas?

Because his fiancee is a cantaloupe!

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Why did the American spend an entire winter in a Russian hotel?

They say he was snowed in.

How do the Dallas Cowboys spend their first week at spring training?

Studying their Miranda Rights.

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Why do cows wear bells around there neck?

Because there horns don't work.

What do you get it you cross a porcupine with a giraffe?

A long necked toothbrush.

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Why couldn't the two melons go to Las Vegas for their wedding?

Because they're cantaloupes.

What did the overbearing mother melon say to her son and his girlfriend?

You Cantaloupe.

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What did the optimist say to his doctor when he found out he had lung cancer?

Well, I'll deal with this asbestos I can!

What do you call a drug dealing church?

Crystal Methodists

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Why did a scientist disconnect his doorbell?

Because he wanted to win the No-bell prize!! Sorry, I ll walk out

How does a Confederate flag and a rainbow flag differ?

The latter represents people that win.