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Melon Jokes

What do Romeo and Juliet have in common with melons?

They both cantaloupe.

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Why didn't the melons get married?

Because they cantaloupe...

Why have no melons ever gotten married in Vegas?

Because they can't elope!

Why do the melons have to have a traditional marriage ceremony?

Because they cantaloupe.

Why are melons so lonely?

Because they cantaloupe

Why didn't the melons get married in Vegas?

Because they cantaloupe. This joke was brought to you by Dads inc.

Why couldn't the man marry the melon?

It was a cantaloupe.

What do you call a melon that will be single forever?

Cantaloupe

What do you get if you water a melon?

A wet melon.

Why do melons have fancy weddings?

Because they cantelope!

What did the melon say to his daughter after she tried to get married?

You cant-elope!

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What are Kierkegaard's two favourite fruits?

Melon and Broccoli!

Why was the farmer disappointed when he tried to marry his prized melon?

Because the minister wouldn't marry the two, since a melon can't elope!

Why couldn't the two melons go to Las Vegas for their wedding?

Because they're cantaloupes.

Why did the melon insist on having a big wedding?

Because it cantaloupe.

What did the melon say to the banana when it proposed?

Yes! But we cantaloupe.

Why can't the two melons get married?

I don't know but they cantaloupe.

What do you call a melon that's had a bit too much to drink?

A Watermelon...

What do you have when life gives you melons?

Dyslexia.

What do you call a melon with overbearing parents?

Cantaloupe)

What kind of melons always have big weddings?

Cantaloupe.

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Why do melons insist on having big weddings?

Because they just cantaloupe.

Why would two melons in love hate their parents?

Because they cantaloupe. =D.....=).....=='(

Why couldn't the melons run away and get married?

They cantelope.

Why do melons have traditional marriages?

Because they cantaloupe

What did the melon tell her boyfriend when he proposed?

Yes but we cantaloupe.

What do you get when you mix a broccoli and a melon?

The saddest vegetable known to man: a melonccoli.

Why do melons always have traditional weddings?

They cantaloupe.

Why do melons always have big weddings?

Because they can't elope.

How does Homer Simpson say watermelon in French?

Melon D'OH

Why do melons have traditional weddings?

Because they can't elope!

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Why don't melons ever run away and get married?

Because they cantaloupe!

Why do melons always have well planned weddings?

They can'telope!

What should you do when life gives you melons?

Get tested for dyslexia.

What type of melon would Romeo and Juliet have been?

Cantaloupe.

What do you call a watermelon in California?

A melon

Why did the melon leave her boyfriend?

He said he can't elope.

Why did the melon break up with her melon boyfriend?

He told her he *can't elope*.

Why doesn't the melon get married?

Because it cantaloupe.

What did the one melon say to the other melon?

We're too young to marry. We cantaloupe.

Why couldn't the melons be together?

Everyone knows melons cantaloupe.

What did one Melon say to the other after it was asked marry it?

We Can't Alope

Why did the melon have commitment issues?

Because he cantaloupe

Why can't melons have shotgun weddings?

They cantaloupe

How do you feel if you cross a sheepdog with a melon?

Melon-collie!

Why were the melons upset when they were denied a marriage license?

Because it means they *cantaloupe*

Why did the couple bring a melon to their honeymoon?

Because they cantaloupe...

Why do melons tend to have large weddings?

They cantaloupe

Why don't melons marry on a whim?

They cantaloupe.

Why do melons always have church weddings?

Because they cantaloupe.

Why did the melon get married in a church?

Because he was in love with a cantaloupe.

Which fruit can never get married?

Melons, because they can'telope.

What do you do if life gives you melons?

You're dyslexic.

Why couldn't the melons secretly get married?

Because they were cant elopes

Why did the melons plan a big wedding?

Because they cantaloupe!

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What's a monsters favorite play?

Romeo and Ghouliet

Why did Romeo and Juliet break up?

They were in a relationship!

Minister Jokes More Minister Jokes

Why was the farmer disappointed when he tried to marry his prized melon?

Because the minister wouldn't marry the two, since a melon can't elope!

What do you call a man that marries another man?

A minister! Courtesy of a patient.

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

What happens if you steal in Afghanistan?

You get Talibanned

What do you call a stolen yam?

A hot potato.

Daughter Jokes More Daughter Jokes

Why did the chicken lay an egg?

Quoted from daughter at age 3) To get food for her babies!

What did the guitar and banjo name their daughter?

Amanda Lynn

Person Jokes More Person Jokes

What do you call a person who is outstanding in their field?

A farmer

What do you call a person with no nose or body?

Nobody nose!

Broccoli Jokes More Broccoli Jokes

What are Kierkegaard's two favourite fruits?

Melon and Broccoli!

What do you get when you mix a broccoli and a melon?

The saddest vegetable known to man: a melonccoli.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What do you call a man who's always in high spirits?

An alcoholic.

How many Vietnam War Veterans does it take to change a lightbulb?

You don't know man, you weren't there!

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

How do you say the word "peanuts" *without* the letter "t"?

Think about it.

What do you call a snowman who cons people?

A snowfake.