Rooster Jokes

Which came first, the Chicken or the Egg?

The Rooster

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What shoes do roosters wear?

Chickenstocks

What do you call a rooster looking at a vegetable patch?

Chicken Caesar Salad

Why doesn't a rooster wear underwear?

Becuase his peckers on his head

Why did the rooster cross the road?

To show he wasn't a chicken.

What's the difference between a lawyer and an angry rooster?

The rooster clucks defiance.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

A)..... The rooster clucks defiance.

What do you call a rooster with erectile dysfunction?

Boneless chicken.

Why are pigs such early risers?

Did you ever try to shut off a rooster

What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning?

An alarm cluck!

Which way will it fall?

If a rooster lays an egg on a pointed roof, which way will it land Roosters don't lay eggs

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Why was the rooster happy after his trip to Vegas?

He got clucky.

What did they do to the burger who thought he was a rooster?

Cook-a-doodle-do!

Why did the rooster buy mittens?

So his chicken fingers wouldn't get cold. I'll leave now

Why don't roosters wear underwear?

Their peckers are on their heads.

What's the difference between a rooster and a lawyer?

The rooster's primal urge is to cluck defiance.

Why does a rooster watch TV?

For hentertainment!

How did the rooster get a lot of chicks?

A lot of good yolks!

What do you get if you cross a phone with a rooster?

A wake-up call!

What do you call two line dancers doing the dance Shoot the Rooster?

A. A Pair of Shoot (parachute)

Why did the rooster run away?

He was chicken!

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What did one cop say to the other cop while investigating a crime scene at a farm?

A rooster!

Why did the rooster cross the road?

He heard that the chickens at KFC were pretty hot.

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What did the man who frequents the internet do with a book?

He Reddit.

Which Lord Mayor of London was always on the Internet?

Click Whittington

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What does a Muslim magician say before his trick?

Araba-cadabra

Why can't you trick an unemployed jester?

Because he's nobody's fool!

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

What's the difference between spit and swallow?

A firm grip on the back of her head.

What is Dracula's girlfriend called when she gives him head?

Down for the count!

Prison Jokes More Prison Jokes

What do you get when you mix the Twelve Days of Christmas with Ninety-nine Bottles of beer on the wall?

A year in prison if there's any justice.

What do you call a psychic midget that escapes prison?

A small medium at large.

20 Year Jokes More 20 Year Jokes

What does a man and a linoleum floor have in common?

If you lay 'em right, you can walk on them for 20 years.

How are women and linoleum floors alike?

You lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them for the next 20 years.

Wake Jokes More Wake Jokes

Why do pirates wake up early on Saturday?

To watch Dablooney Toons!

Why did the blonde tip toe near the medicine cabinet?

Because she didn't want to wake the sleeping pills!

Erectile Dysfunction Jokes More Erectile Dysfunction Jokes

What did the doctor tell a welder when the welder asked if his girlfriend(a pilot) using alternative lube was giving him erectile dysfunction?

Jet fuel can't melt steel beams

How difficult is it to live with erectile dysfunction?

It turns out, it's not very hard at all

Pant Jokes More Pant Jokes

What is it called when a politician craps his pants in a Honda?

Civic doody.

What does an helicopter and pants have in common?

They both moust go down in emergency.