Rooster Jokes

Which came first, the Chicken or the Egg?

The Rooster

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What shoes do roosters wear?

Chickenstocks

What do you call a rooster looking at a vegetable patch?

Chicken Caesar Salad

Why doesn't a rooster wear underwear?

Becuase his peckers on his head

Why did the rooster cross the road?

To show he wasn't a chicken.

What's the difference between a lawyer and an angry rooster?

The rooster clucks defiance.

Why did the rooster get 20 years in prison?

He got caught on the internet, looking up chicks.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

A)..... The rooster clucks defiance.

What do you call a rooster with erectile dysfunction?

Boneless chicken.

Why are pigs such early risers?

Did you ever try to shut off a rooster

What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning?

An alarm cluck!

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Which way will it fall?

If a rooster lays an egg on a pointed roof, which way will it land Roosters don't lay eggs

Why was the rooster happy after his trip to Vegas?

He got clucky.

What did they do to the burger who thought he was a rooster?

Cook-a-doodle-do!

Why did the rooster buy mittens?

So his chicken fingers wouldn't get cold. I'll leave now

Why don't roosters wear underwear?

Their peckers are on their heads.

What's the difference between a rooster and a lawyer?

The rooster's primal urge is to cluck defiance.

Why does a rooster watch TV?

For hentertainment!

What do you call a rooster from China?

Caucasian

How did the rooster get a lot of chicks?

A lot of good yolks!

What do you get if you cross a phone with a rooster?

A wake-up call!

$Your Age Is Only Math$

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What do you call two line dancers doing the dance Shoot the Rooster?

A. A Pair of Shoot (parachute)

Why did the rooster run away?

He was chicken!

What did one cop say to the other cop while investigating a crime scene at a farm?

A rooster!

Why did the rooster cross the road?

He heard that the chickens at KFC were pretty hot.

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What do you get when you're bitten by a mosquito wearing a fedora?

M'laria

What do you call a fedora wearing neck beard president's wife?

First M'lady

Lay Jokes More Lay Jokes

Why did the chicken cross the road half-way?

She wanted to lay it on the line.

What has two thumbs and got laid last night?

My hands.

Finish Jokes More Finish Jokes

What does a mathematician deal with when finished their work?

The aftermath

What do you call someone who finishes a sentence with you?

Partner in crime.

Trick Jokes More Trick Jokes

What does a Muslim magician say before his trick?

Araba-cadabra

When do ghosts play tricks on each other?

On April Ghoul's Day

Question Jokes More Question Jokes

Who's there! Chair! Chair who?

Chair you go again asking more questions!

What did the gangster's son tell his dad when he failed his examination?

Dad they questioned me for 3 hours but I told them nothing.

Internet Jokes More Internet Jokes

Which Lord Mayor of London was always on the Internet?

Click Whittington

Why did North Korea lose Internet?

Because they switched to Comcast.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between dog food and a hot dog?

I have no idea...

What difference does an "A" make?

Between NASA and NSA--it's astronomical.

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

Why did Timmy fall off the swings?

Didn't have any hands.. (the real punch line) Knock knock.. Who's there Not Timmy..

When you fall in love it burns and you die, right?

Yes, son. Love is terrible. "No Mom, I said LAVA." Oh. You maybe can survive that one.