Rooster Jokes

Which came first, the Chicken or the Egg?

The Rooster

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What shoes do roosters wear?

Chickenstocks

What do you call a rooster looking at a vegetable patch?

Chicken Caesar Salad

Why doesn't a rooster wear underwear?

Becuase his peckers on his head

Why did the rooster cross the road?

To show he wasn't a chicken.

What's the difference between a lawyer and an angry rooster?

The rooster clucks defiance.

Why did the rooster get 20 years in prison?

He got caught on the internet, looking up chicks.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

A)..... The rooster clucks defiance.

What do you call a rooster with erectile dysfunction?

Boneless chicken.

Why are pigs such early risers?

Did you ever try to shut off a rooster

What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning?

An alarm cluck!

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Which way will it fall?

If a rooster lays an egg on a pointed roof, which way will it land Roosters don't lay eggs

Why was the rooster happy after his trip to Vegas?

He got clucky.

What did they do to the burger who thought he was a rooster?

Cook-a-doodle-do!

Why did the rooster buy mittens?

So his chicken fingers wouldn't get cold. I'll leave now

Why don't roosters wear underwear?

Their peckers are on their heads.

What's the difference between a rooster and a lawyer?

The rooster's primal urge is to cluck defiance.

Why does a rooster watch TV?

For hentertainment!

What do you call a rooster from China?

Caucasian

How did the rooster get a lot of chicks?

A lot of good yolks!

What do you get if you cross a phone with a rooster?

A wake-up call!

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What do you call two line dancers doing the dance Shoot the Rooster?

A. A Pair of Shoot (parachute)

Why did the rooster run away?

He was chicken!

What did one cop say to the other cop while investigating a crime scene at a farm?

A rooster!

Why did the rooster cross the road?

He heard that the chickens at KFC were pretty hot.

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Time Jokes More Time Jokes

Why do we never take the time to thank mislabeled concrete?

It's mistaken for granite.

What time is it when a clock strikes thirteen?

Time to get it fixed.

20 Year Jokes More 20 Year Jokes

Why did the rooster get 20 years in prison?

He got caught on the internet, looking up chicks.

Why would Rip Van Winkle make a good janitor?

Because he swept for 20 years.

Lawyer Jokes More Lawyer Jokes

How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None they'd rather keep their clients in the dark.

What kind of suit does a lawyer like best?

The Spanish Inquisition.

Vegetable Patch Jokes More Vegetable Patch Jokes

Who raided my vegetable patch?

PIGLET: Beets me!

What do you call a rooster looking at a vegetable patch?

Chicken Caesar Salad

Finish Jokes More Finish Jokes

What did the made-to-order breakfast dish say to Taylor Swift at the Grammys?

Omelette you finish.

What do Abraham Lincoln and Peyton Manning have in common?

Neither can finish a play.

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

What did Sean Connery say when a book fell on his head?

I have only my shelf to blame

What do you call a man with a kilt over his head?

Scott!

Morning Jokes More Morning Jokes

What has everyone been using to get ice of their cars in the morning?

I've been using a discount card, but I can only ever get 20% off

What is your favorite type of wood?

Mine is morning.

Boneless Chicken Jokes More Boneless Chicken Jokes

What do you call a rooster with erectile dysfunction?

Boneless chicken.

What do you call a fish without any eyes?

Boneless chicken