Pant Jokes

What does an helicopter and pants have in common?

They both moust go down in emergency.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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What's worse than ants in your pants?

Uncles

What kind of pants does Mario wear?

Denim Denim. Denim

Why would you wear two pairs of pants while golfing?

You might get a hole in one.

What did the tailor say to his customer after shortening the length of his pants?

A-hem!

Why did the golfer wear two pants?

He got a hole in one

What's a hot dog's favorite article of clothing?

Pants

What's so meta that you almost crap your pants?

Metamucil

What type of pants does Mario wear?

Denim, denim, denim.

Why can't Democrats sell pants?

They believe in a single-pair system.

What's the difference between someone who can mend your pants quick and a famous singer?

One of them is a swift tailor.

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What do you call it when Superman craps his pants?

Undy-terd.

What do you call a speech so scary it makes you crap your pants?

A dire rhetoric.

Why do gangsters save so much money on clothes?

Cause all their pants are half-off

What's the difference between Gordon Ramsey and a run in the forest?

Ones a pant in the country the others a...

When is a fairy NOT a fairy?

When its down your pants then its a goblin!

What did the snowman do when he saw a snow blower go by?

Pull down his pants.

How many angels can a pinhead dance on?

To hold up their pants.

Why did the twins have twice as many shirts as pants?

Because they shared genes!

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Incase he got a hole in one. HEHE one of my favs. Whats your fav joke?

What kind of pants does Super Mario wear?

Denim denim denim

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Why did the snowman pull down his pants?

Because he saw the snowblower coming

What did the shirt say to the pants?

What's up, britches.

How do you get elected president of my pants?

By the vote of the Erectional College...

What kind of pants to Mario and Luigi wear?

Denim denim denim...denim denim demin

Why does Tiger Woods bring two pair of pants during a golf game?

Its in case he gets a hole-in-one.

What did the pirate say when his wife kept asking him about the steering wheel in his pants?

Yargg! Woman! Stop asking me! You're driving me nuts!

Why did the belt get locked up?

He held up a pair of pants.

Why do golfers bring an spare change of pants?

Just in case they get a hole in one. Credit to

What did the pirate say with the steering wheel in his pants?

Arrgh, it's driving me nuts!

Why did the golfer wear a extra pair of pants?

In case he got a hole in one

Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants?

In case he got a hole in one.

What's 6" long, bent to the left, and in the front of my pants??

My iPhone 6.

What's wrinkly and hangs out your pants?

Your mother.

What did the pirate say about the steering wheel in his pants?

Arrg, it's driving me nuts!

What's the sharpest thing in the word?

A fart. It goes right through your pants and doesn't leave a hole.

What did the shoes say to the pants?

What up, britches?

What did the boy say after the tailor made fun of him for not wearing pants?

Hey, why don't you cut me some slacks?

Why did the snowman have his pants down?

Because he heard the snowblower was coming.

What kind of pants do Bostonians wear?

Car Keys

How do you tell when a girl really wants you?

When you put your hand down her pants you think you're feeding a horse.

Why did Frosty the Snowman pull down his pants?

He heard the snow-blower was coming.

Why wouldn't the man dance?

His pants had no ballroom.

What did the pirate say after his first-mate stuck the wheel in his pants?

ARGHH! You're driving me nuts!

What's the sharpest thing in the world?

A fart. It goes through your pants without even making a hole.

What do clouds wear under their pants?

Thunderwear!

What's the best way to make pants last?

Make the jacket first.

What does a fashionable dog do when it gets tired?

Pants.

What type of pants do Japanese people wear?

Nihon-jeans (Nihon-jin)

What is the worst type of sand to have in your pants?

Sandusky

How bad is it to poop your pants?

It Depends

Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants?

In case they get a hole in one!

How did the pirate fix the hole in his pants?

He used an eyepatch

Why did the python return his pants?

They were too constricting.

Why did the snowman take his pants off?

He heard the snow blower was coming.

What kind of pants do Mario and Luigi wear?

Denim denim denim.

Why did the bishop love Walmart?

Coz the boys pants are all half off.

Why did the belt get arrested?

Because it held up a pair of pants.

What kind of pants do the Mario Brothers wear?

Denim denim denim.

What does a dog do that you step in?

Pants.

What kind of pants does Mario wear to work?

Denim denim denim p

Why did the suspenders get arrested?

Because they held up a pair of pants.

What did the pirate say after he pulled a steering wheel out of his pants?

It's driving me nuts!

Why do golfers wear 2 pairs of pants?

Incase he gets a hole in one

How do your pants fit?

The man responded, "Like a glove".

What does JCPenny and teenagers have in common?

Pants 50% off

Who is that walking up my driveway?

Anxiety in 3...2...1... knock, knock *sigh* "WAIT A SECOND!" *mumbles* "I need to find pants."

What do Pentecostals and Nudists have in common?

Neither can wear pants

What did the rapper say when he couldn't find his pants?

Where my knickers at

What does a dog like to wear when it's exercising?

Pants.

What did the blonde do after she combed her hair?

She pulled her pants up.

What is it called when a politician craps his pants in a Honda?

Civic doody.

Why did... Why did the golfer wear an extra pair of pants?

In case he got a hole in one! Ha Ha Ha Ha

What type of pants do you need to start a car?

Cargo pants

What did the Scottish man do when he ran out of pants to wear?

He kilt himself

What did the pirate with the steering wheel in his pants say?

Argh it's driving me nuts!

How do those even fit in your pants?

He replied "They fit like a glove."

What kind of pants do you buy for your pet Chihuahua?

Shorts!

Why did the bowler bring two pairs of pants?

He wanted a spare in case he had a split.

What's the difference between public hair and pubic hair?

Pants.

Why do electricians wear pants?

Because they hate shorts.

Where I should put my pants?

He replied "Over there next to mine."

What do you call pants that can fly?

Peter Pants I just made it up

What did the primary rainbow say to the secondary rainbow?

Your pants are on backwards

What are calories?

Little elves that tighten your waistband on your pants a little every night

Why's a pretty girl like you sitting all alone?

Me: I peed my pants.

How is the iPhone 6 like /r/gonewild?

They both give you tightness in the pants.

Why should you bring two pairs of pants when you golf?

In case you get a hole-in-one (stolen from some girl at school)

What does Michael Jackson and j.c. penny have in common?

Little boys pants half off.

What happened to wendy on her way to neverland?

She peed her pants (read out loud)

What does a dog do that a man steps in?

Pants

Why did the golfer wear two pair of pants?

In case he got a hole in one.

Where do I put my pants?

He said, "Over there by mine."

What do blondes do after they comb their hair?

They pull up their pants.

Why is a dog so warm in Summer?

He wears a coat and pants.

What's the difference between Cottage Cheese and Cream Cheese?

I didn't cottage in my pants

When is an aardvark jumpy?

When he's got ants in his pants!

Why were the suspenders arrested?

For holding up a pair of pants.

What film do you get when you pull your pants down?

Free Willy

How do you think his pants fit him?

Like a glove.

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Mario Pant Jokes More Mario Pant Jokes

What material is Mario's pants made out of?

Denim denim denim.

What are Mario's pants made out of?

DenimDenimDenim

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

What do you call a hippopotamus wearing Tie Dye?

A hippiepotamus

Why do elephants wear green shoes?

So they can sneak across pool tables. Have you ever seen an elephant sneaking across a pool table? Works, doesn't it?

Snowball Jokes More Snowball Jokes

What is the best joke you have heard that was on the end of a Popsicle stick?

Here is mine: Q: Where do snowmen dance --------- A: At the snowball. Best joke at the end of a Popsicle stick

What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?

Snowballs.

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?

Depends on what tune the Devil happens to be playing. Ha. Ha ha. Ha ha ha.

What happens if a line doesn't get enough Vitamin C?

It gets curvy.

Majority Jokes More Majority Jokes

What are the three types of men?

The handsome the caring and the majority.

What country are the majority of dress pants made?

Khakistan!

Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

What do you get if you play a country music song backwards?

You get your wife back. Your house back. Your truck back. Your dog back...

Why do dogs chase their tails?

They want to make ends meet.

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of doctor never leaves the hospital?

An Oncologist

What kind of soap do you use to clean a dirty joke?

Bawdy wash.

Drop Jokes More Drop Jokes

How can you tell if a cat is blonde?

No matter what height you drop it from it always lands on its head.

How many stockholders does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.