Pant Jokes

What does an helicopter and pants have in common?

They both moust go down in emergency.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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What kind of pants does Mario wear?

Denim Denim. Denim

Why would you wear two pairs of pants while golfing?

You might get a hole in one.

What did the tailor say to his customer after shortening the length of his pants?

A-hem!

Why did the golfer wear two pants?

He got a hole in one

What's a hot dog's favorite article of clothing?

Pants

What's so meta that you almost crap your pants?

Metamucil

What type of pants does Mario wear?

Denim, denim, denim.

What's the difference between someone who can mend your pants quick and a famous singer?

One of them is a swift tailor.

What do you call it when Superman craps his pants?

Undy-terd.

What do you call a speech so scary it makes you crap your pants?

A dire rhetoric.

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Why do gangsters save so much money on clothes?

Cause all their pants are half-off

What's the difference between Gordon Ramsey and a run in the forest?

Ones a pant in the country the others a...

When is a fairy NOT a fairy?

When its down your pants then its a goblin!

What did the snowman do when he saw a snow blower go by?

Pull down his pants.

Why did the twins have twice as many shirts as pants?

Because they shared genes!

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Incase he got a hole in one. HEHE one of my favs. Whats your fav joke?

What kind of pants does Super Mario wear?

Denim denim denim

Why did the snowman pull down his pants?

Because he saw the snowblower coming

What did the shirt say to the pants?

What's up, britches.

What kind of pants to Mario and Luigi wear?

Denim denim denim...denim denim demin

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Why does Tiger Woods bring two pair of pants during a golf game?

Its in case he gets a hole-in-one.

What did the pirate say when his wife kept asking him about the steering wheel in his pants?

Yargg! Woman! Stop asking me! You're driving me nuts!

Why did the belt get locked up?

He held up a pair of pants.

Why do golfers bring an spare change of pants?

Just in case they get a hole in one. Credit to

Why did the golfer wear a extra pair of pants?

In case he got a hole in one

Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants?

In case he got a hole in one.

What did the pirate say about the steering wheel in his pants?

Arrg, it's driving me nuts!

What's the sharpest thing in the word?

A fart. It goes right through your pants and doesn't leave a hole.

What did the boy say after the tailor made fun of him for not wearing pants?

Hey, why don't you cut me some slacks?

Why did the snowman have his pants down?

Because he heard the snowblower was coming.

What kind of pants do Bostonians wear?

Car Keys

Why wouldn't the man dance?

His pants had no ballroom.

What did the pirate say after his first-mate stuck the wheel in his pants?

ARGHH! You're driving me nuts!

What's the sharpest thing in the world?

A fart. It goes through your pants without even making a hole.

What do clouds wear under their pants?

Thunderwear!

What's the best way to make pants last?

Make the jacket first.

What does a fashionable dog do when it gets tired?

Pants.

What type of pants do Japanese people wear?

Nihon-jeans (Nihon-jin)

What is the worst type of sand to have in your pants?

Sandusky

How bad is it to poop your pants?

It Depends

Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants?

In case they get a hole in one!

How did the pirate fix the hole in his pants?

He used an eyepatch

Why did the python return his pants?

They were too constricting.

Why did the snowman take his pants off?

He heard the snow blower was coming.

What kind of pants do Mario and Luigi wear?

Denim denim denim.

Why did the belt get arrested?

Because it held up a pair of pants.

What kind of pants do the Mario Brothers wear?

Denim denim denim.

What does a dog do that you step in?

Pants.

Why did the suspenders get arrested?

Because they held up a pair of pants.

What did the pirate say after he pulled a steering wheel out of his pants?

It's driving me nuts!

Why do golfers wear 2 pairs of pants?

Incase he gets a hole in one

What does a dog like to wear when it's exercising?

Pants.

What is it called when a politician craps his pants in a Honda?

Civic doody.

Why did... Why did the golfer wear an extra pair of pants?

In case he got a hole in one! Ha Ha Ha Ha

What type of pants do you need to start a car?

Cargo pants

What did the pirate with the steering wheel in his pants say?

Argh it's driving me nuts!

How do those even fit in your pants?

He replied "They fit like a glove."

What kind of pants do you buy for your pet Chihuahua?

Shorts!

Why did the bowler bring two pairs of pants?

He wanted a spare in case he had a split.

Why do electricians wear pants?

Because they hate shorts.

Where I should put my pants?

He replied "Over there next to mine."

What do you call pants that can fly?

Peter Pants I just made it up

What did the primary rainbow say to the secondary rainbow?

Your pants are on backwards

What are calories?

Little elves that tighten your waistband on your pants a little every night

Why's a pretty girl like you sitting all alone?

Me: I peed my pants.

How is the iPhone 6 like /r/gonewild?

They both give you tightness in the pants.

Why should you bring two pairs of pants when you golf?

In case you get a hole-in-one (stolen from some girl at school)

What happened to wendy on her way to neverland?

She peed her pants (read out loud)

What does a dog do that a man steps in?

Pants

Why did the golfer wear two pair of pants?

In case he got a hole in one.

Where do I put my pants?

He said, "Over there by mine."

What do blondes do after they comb their hair?

They pull up their pants.

Why is a dog so warm in Summer?

He wears a coat and pants.

When is an aardvark jumpy?

When he's got ants in his pants!

Why were the suspenders arrested?

For holding up a pair of pants.

How do you think his pants fit him?

Like a glove.

What did the tree do when he got really nervous?

He SOILed his pants I'llseemyselfout...

What is Marios favorite type of pants?

Denim Denim Denim

What are Mario and Luigi's favorite type of pants?

Denim, Denim, Denim

What pants do ghosts wear?

BOO jeans.

What kind of pants does the Pink Panther wear?

Denim Denim Denim Denim Denim Denim Deniiiiim

What's Mario's favorite type of pants?

DenimDenimDenim*

What is the sharpest thing in the world?

A fart. It will cut through your pants and not even leave a hole.

What do I have?

Someone else's pants.

What are the best clothes to wear to the dance club?

Boots and pants and boots and pants and boots and pants...

What's 6 inches long hard, bent, and in my pants?

My iPhone 6

What do you get when you cross a telephone with a pair of pants?

Bell-bottoms!

What did the pirate say with a steering wheel down his pants?

YARRR, IT'S DRIVIN' ME NUTS!!!

Why do you have a steering wheel in your pants?

The pirate says, "I don't know, but it's driving me nuts!"

What did the pirate with a steering wheel in his pants say when he couldn't remember why it was there?

Arrrh, it's driving me nuts

How does a pair of pants feel when it is ironed?

Depressed.

What kind of pants does agent Mulder wear?

Just a pair 'a normal pants.

Why do little girls put fishes down their pants?

So the can smell like big girls!

How do Vampires buy pants if they can't look in a mirror?

Now, I tweet them

Why does a golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he gets a hole in one!

Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?

In case he got a hole-in-one.

What's the difference between Super Man and Spider Man?

Super Man wears his underwear over his pants..

What does a tight pair of pants and a cheap motel have in common?

No ballroom.

Why no pants on?

We think he tried to jump into his pants & fell

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What does a blonde and a tornado have in common?

They both start blowing but in the end they take everything from you.

How do cheese strings work?

I started to laugh, but then I stopped. How do cheese strings work

Helicopter Jokes More Helicopter Jokes

What animal is faster than a cheetah?

A cow dropped out of a helicopter.

What do you get if you cross a Rhinoceros, an elephant and a helicopter?

HellIfIknow

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

How do I stop a Christmas Gnome being airsick on the sledge?

Gnome: Put a five pound note between his teeth and stick his head over the side of the sledge.

What goes HO HO HO thud?

Santa laughing his head off. What goes HO HO HO A Pimp taking inventory.

Break Jokes More Break Jokes

How do you end a relationship fight?

You break it up.

Why are ships' portholes round?

So that if they break, water doesn't hit you square in the face.

Boot Jokes More Boot Jokes

What did the figurine say when the boot flew past her protective dome?

That was a cloche call!

Why did the cowboy die with his boots on?

Because he didn't want to stub his toe when he kicked the bucket!

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

Where do cows stay when they go on vacation?

In a moooo-tel.

What happened to Sponge Bob Square Pants when he broke up with his girlfriend?

He went back to square one....

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

What are you waiting for?

A car.

What kind of car did J.J. Abrams send to pick up Harrison Ford for the new Star Wars premiere?

A Hyundai.

Drop Jokes More Drop Jokes

What have Disney and the U.K. got in common?

Both dropped the EU And screwed over a lot of people

What did one plant say to another when it dropped its camera into the sea?

Photos-in-the-seas!