What's so meta that you almost crap your pants?

Metamucil

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Pant Jokes More Pant Jokes

Why is a dog so warm in Summer?

He wears a coat and pants.

Why did the bowler bring two pairs of pants?

He wanted a spare in case he had a split.

Crap Jokes More Crap Jokes

What do you call a speech so scary it makes you crap your pants?

A dire rhetoric.

What do you get when a ghost takes a crap?

Rectoplasm.