Crap Jokes

What did the fisherman say to the sewage management person?

Would you pull that crap with a net?

April Sale

Love Card

$5.99

What's the difference between a golfer and a skydiver?

A golfer goes "Whack, crap!", and a skydiver goes " Crap, whack!".

What's so meta that you almost crap your pants?

Metamucil

Why is Coolio always able to play craps?

He's got a gangsta's pair a dice.

What do you call it when a dog craps on your rug?

Carpet bombing.

What do you call it when Superman craps his pants?

Undy-terd.

What do you call a speech so scary it makes you crap your pants?

A dire rhetoric.

Which plant talks the most crap?

Shiitake mushrooms.

What does a bad salesman and a toilet have in common?

They are both full of crap.

How long does it take for a White woman to take a crap?

9 Months.

What is it called when a politician craps his pants in a Honda?

Civic doody.

April Sale

I Love Pizza & You

$5.99

What does British toilet paper and John Wayne have in common?

It's rough, and tough, and doesn't take any crap.

What do you get when a ghost takes a crap?

Rectoplasm.

What would a diatomic Calcium molecule look like if existed?

Like Crap or Feces (its the same) WHY Because its Ca=Ca (equal sign is a double bond)

What'd you do this weekend?

I was shooting craps. "Oh you went to a casino " *flashback to blasting dog turds with shotgun* Um, yeah.

What do you call a coffee made with frothy milk that tastes like crap?

A farte

When the cashier asks me "Is that everything?

I feel like crap inside because obviously my order didn't satisfy her.

Why did the baker's hands stink?

Because he needed a crap.

You might also enjoy:

Pull Jokes More Pull Jokes

Why do you forget a tooth as soon as the dentist pulls it out?

Because it goes right out of your head.

What's the difference between me and my couch?

My couch pulls out.

Microwave Jokes More Microwave Jokes

What does a blonde do when her computer freezes?

She puts in in the microwave.

What do you call tiny waves that wash up onto a beach?

Microwaves!

Toilet Jokes More Toilet Jokes

What does a black women do after having a water birth?

Flush the toilet.

What did the toilet say to the pee?

Urine

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What does ever horse and rider do at the same time?

Grow old!

How does a cat tell time??

In meowers

Golfer Jokes More Golfer Jokes

What did the golfer say to his buddy when he hit a bogey?

I guess you aren't up to par

What do golfers do on nights out?

Par**ty.

White Woman Jokes More White Woman Jokes

What do white guys do that lasts hours and makes white women scream?

NASCAR

Why do black men weep when they make love to white women?

Mace.

Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

How do dogs do business?

Pro-bono

What's the difference between a dog barking at the front door and a woman screaming at the back door?

If you let the dog in, it will shut up.

Pant Jokes More Pant Jokes

Why did the belt go to prison?

He held up a pair of pants!

Why do golfers wear 2 pairs of pants?

Incase he gets a hole in one