What do you call a speech so scary it makes you crap your pants?

A dire rhetoric.

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Pant Jokes More Pant Jokes

What did the blonde do after she combed her hair?

She pulled her pants up.

Why did the belt get arrested?

Because it held up a pair of pants.

Crap Jokes More Crap Jokes

Which plant talks the most crap?

Shiitake mushrooms.

What is it called when a politician craps his pants in a Honda?

Civic doody.

Speech Jokes More Speech Jokes

Why is it hard to hold a speech at a nudist convention?

It does not help to imagine people in their underwear.

What kind of speech did the farmer give his cornfield?

It didn't matter, they were all ears