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What do you call a speech so scary it makes you crap your pants?

A dire rhetoric.

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Pant Jokes More Pant Jokes

Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants?

In case he got a hole in one.

What did the shoes say to the pants?

What up, britches?

Crap Jokes More Crap Jokes

What is it called when a politician craps his pants in a Honda?

Civic doody.

What do you call it when a dog craps on your rug?

Carpet bombing.

Speech Jokes More Speech Jokes

Why is it hard to hold a speech at a nudist convention?

It does not help to imagine people in their underwear.

What kind of speech did the farmer give his cornfield?

It didn't matter, they were all ears