Asian Jokes

I read some jokes from this sub to my Asian co-worker and she wanted me to ask if you guys have some good Asian jokes to help us get through the rest of the work day.

What did the Asian guy say when he was caught sleeping with another man's wife?

Me love you wrong time.

Why has there never been an Asian president?

Because they are taken to the hospital if the election lasts more than 4 hours

What did the grad students call the new Asian post-doc?

The Yellow Fellow.

What's everyone's problem with euthanasia?

I like little Asian kids

What is the cheapest way to blindfold an Asian?

Dental floss.

What do you call it when an Asian's imaginary friend dies?

Make-bereave

What is the least racist animal?

A panda. It's black, it's white and it's Asian.

What do you call it when an Asian composer really needs the bathroom?

Rover Flows Out Of You.

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How do you know if a guy has an Asian wife?

He'll tell you.

What is the name of the Asian pointing out everyones mistakes?

Xu wong

What do you call the process of becoming an honorary Asian?

Orientation.

What did Asian Jesus say before he was crucified?

OC) YORO (You only resurrect once)

What do you call a productive Asian?

China get something done.

Which southeast Asian drink is more popular, the iced tea or the coffee?

Neither. It's a Thai.

Why didn't the Asian man cry when his wife died?

Because he just couldn't bereave it.

What do you call an Asian penguin?

A penguyen

What's Asian on top and black on bottom?

IQ distribution graph

What is the Asian firefighter's favorite song?

The Sound of Sirens

What did the Asian couple name their black baby?

Sum sing wong

What is a perfect society formed by a Asian called?

A Yutopia

How does an Asian Cowboy say Hello?

Ni-Hao-dy

What's it called when a transgender person hooks up with an Asian?

A Trans Pacific Partnership

What do you call an Asian woman on the moon?

An Astronaut

What, I'm Asian?

Slides off Uggs & infinity scarf inside Starbucks* *buys a bonsai tree*

What sort of aircraft does the Asian pilot who loves to greet people fly?

A herrocopter

What does Asian Matthew McConaughey want for dinner?

All rice, all rice, all rice

What did the Asian do after receiving a test with a bad grade?

Bangladesh

What do you call an Asian who flies planes?

A pilot.

What do you call a bunch of Asian bears roaring?

Panda-monium.

Why do certain Asian boxers hate the Rebel Alliance?

Because they are Thai fighters.

What do you call a tropical depression on a SE Asian island?

Malaise-ia

Where did the little Asian girl go when the little boy dropped by?

Everywhere.

What's the hardest part of golf for asians?

Driving

What do you call an Asian Terrorist group?

Rice-is

Why didnt the Asian block a punch coming to his face?

He couldn't see it coming

What do you call an Asian cow in space?

The Milky Wei.

What do you call a calm Asian man?

A Mellow Yellow

Why is it so hard to sleep with Asian women?

It can be a slippery slope.

What do you call an Asian lady with one leg longer than the other?

Irene

Why do Asian parents give their children short names?

More time on tests.

What do the teenagers call the Asian red light district?

Vachina Town

What do Asian people use as blindfolds?

Shoe laces.

What do you call a rich Asian?

Cha Ching!*

What's a let down Chinese lobster called?

A crushed Asian

What did the Asian police dog say to the robber?

Fleas!

What do Asian pirates say?

ELLLLLLL!!!

What does an Asian man do during an erection?

Vote.

Why is there no Asian Isaac Newton?

He sat under the durian tree.

What did the Asian janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?

Supplies!

How do you know if an Asian is depressed?

All around them are familiar faces, worn out places, worn out faces.

What did they stamp on the Asian baby as he came out of his mother's womb?

Made in Va-China.

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What's a let down Chinese lobster called?

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What do you call it when someone relies on sleep studies for a profession?

A rem job

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How many Super Saiyans does it take to change a light-bulb?

It's not &gt9000) FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON DRAGGGGON BAAAAL ZEEEEEEEEE

Where does Ben Carson spend most of his time on Reddit?

R/explainlikeimfive

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Why didn't the cashier laugh at my joke?

It didn't make cents

Where's the best place to look for a joke?

The mirror

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What do you call The Dynamic Duo after they got hit by a steamroller?

Flatman and Ribbon

What did the Tin Man say when he got run over by a steamroller?

Curses! Foil again!

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Why can't SpongeBob make the honor roll?

Because he's a C sponge!

What's SpongeBob's worst personality trait?

He's way too self-absorbent

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What is that thing called when your crush likes you back?

Imagination.

Why can't the hydraulic press guy bring himself to crush a can of sprite?

Because it's soda pressing

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Why would a monster be big, green and scaly?

Cuz if he were small, white and smooth hed be a Tic Tac.

Why is there a "D" in fridge but not in refrigerator?

Because you don't put the "D" in the big ones.