Newton Jokes

Why Newton laws were not from Asian countries?

Because they have durian...

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Why did Newton's wife got pregnant?

Because he doesn't believe in using quantum

What do you call a baby panther?

A Newton.

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Olivia Newton John Jokes More Olivia Newton John Jokes

Whats in Olivia Newton's John?

Gomer's Pile

What did Olivia Newton-John say to her doctor?

Lets get physical!

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

When driving through fog what should you use?

Your car.

What do Mexicans use with the Wii-U?

Amiigo

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

What's black and found at the top of a stair case?

Stephen Hawking after a house fire.

What's red like a strawberry, hard like beef jerky, smells like vinegar, and is found under your bed?

Me neither. Help.

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

How much longer do I have doc?

Doctor: "Ten." Patient: "Ten what " Doctor: "Nine..."

What did Shakespeare ask his doctor when he was afraid he had tuberculosis?

TB or not TB, that is the question.

Isaac Newton Jokes More Isaac Newton Jokes

Why didn't Isaac Newton drink wine?

He knew better than to drink and derive.

What happened when Isaac Newton met the apple?

He found the apple was a surprisingly down-to-Earth kinda guy.

World Jokes More World Jokes

What's the best campsite in the world?

Auschwitz, received well over three million starts

What does a guy want more than anything in the world?

It doesn't matter. He has to ask his wife first.

Sit Jokes More Sit Jokes

What's the best way to force a man to do sit ups?

A. Put the remote control between his toes.

Why did the lady at the bar slap the man next to her for stroking his mustache?

Because in between stroking it, he said "hello, let me clear you off a place to sit."

Fig Newton Jokes More Fig Newton Jokes

What does Cam Newton and Fig Newton have in common?

They both crumble under pressure

What's the worlds most forceful fig?

The Fig Newton.