What kind of pants do you buy for your pet Chihuahua?

Shorts!

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How do you sell a chicken to someone who is hard-of-hearing?

HEY!!! DO YOU WANT TO BUY A CHICKEN!?!?!?!

Why do people keep buying velcro?

It's such a ripoff.

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What's the difference between Cottage Cheese and Cream Cheese?

I didn't cottage in my pants

What type of pants do you need to start a car?

Cargo pants

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What kind of snake is good at math?

An adder.

What kind of watch does Germs Bond wear?

An Amoeba.

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When is the only time when No shirt no shorts no shoes gets you service?

If you're a surfer and you're getting head.

What kind of pants do you buy for your pet Chihuahua?

Shorts!