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How do Vampires buy pants if they can't look in a mirror?

Now, I tweet them

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Look Jokes More Look Jokes

How can you tell the clan of a Scotsman?

Look under his kilt, if it's a quarter-pounder, he's a McDonald.

What did tarzan say when he saw a herd of elephants in the distance?

Look, a herd of elephants in the distance!

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

What is the worst place to have the "you break it, you buy it" rule?

The pet store

Why are French guns the best to buy?

They've never been fired, and only dropped once.

Pant Jokes More Pant Jokes

Why were the suspenders arrested?

For holding up a pair of pants.

What do blondes do after they comb their hair?

They pull up their pants.

Mirror Jokes More Mirror Jokes

What did the neckbeard say when he looked in the mirror?

M'self

What's the worst part about making out with a perfect 10?

The cold feeling on your lips when you realize you're kissing the mirror

Vampire Jokes More Vampire Jokes

Where did vampires go to first in America?

New-fang-land.

Why did the vampire go to hospital?

He wanted his ghoulstones removed.

Tweet Jokes More Tweet Jokes

What's it like to tweet "My cat sneezed" and get 500 RT in the first minute?

My cat would be dead before I got 50

What do you call it again where you think of a tweet while you're offline so you have to say it out loud?

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