How do Vampires buy pants if they can't look in a mirror?

Now, I tweet them

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Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What do you call it when you are looking for your Subaru Forrester in a parking garage?

Finding Forrester

What do I look like?

A typewriter

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

What happens when the President dies?

The Vice President takes over. What happens when the Vice President dies? The Speaker of the House takes over. What happens when the Speaker of the House dies? You go to Radio Shack and buy a new speaker.

What is agitated buy joyful?

A washing machine

Pant Jokes More Pant Jokes

How does a pair of pants feel when it is ironed?

Depressed.

What are calories?

Little elves that tighten your waistband on your pants a little every night

Mirror Jokes More Mirror Jokes

How do you get out?

You look in the mirror and see what you saw. Take the saw and saw the table in half. Two half's make a whole, go through the hole.

How much for the supermodel?

Winks seductively "Ma'am, that's a mirror and you appear to be having a stroke."

Vampire Jokes More Vampire Jokes

How does a vampire get through life with only one fang?

He has to grin and bare it.

Which vampire ate the three bears' porridge?

Ghouldilocks.

Tweet Jokes More Tweet Jokes

What do birds give out on Halloween?

Tweets.

Why did the bird go to the restaurant?

Tweet!