What are calories?

Little elves that tighten your waistband on your pants a little every night

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Pant Jokes More Pant Jokes

Why does Tiger Woods bring two pair of pants during a golf game?

Its in case he gets a hole-in-one.

What kind of pants do the Super Mario Bros. wear?

Denim denim denim.....

Calorie Jokes More Calorie Jokes

Why do you want to run for President?

Because walking wouldn't burn enough calories.

How many calories does heartache burn?

Me: Depends on how many calories are in the person you are setting on fire.