What are calories?

Little elves that tighten your waistband on your pants a little every night

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Pant Jokes More Pant Jokes

What did the pirate say about the steering wheel in his pants?

Arrg, it's driving me nuts!

What does a fashionable dog do when it gets tired?

Pants.

Calorie Jokes More Calorie Jokes

Why did the arsonist go to the gym?

To burn some calories.

Why do you want to run for President?

Because walking wouldn't burn enough calories.