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Why do you want to run for President?

Because walking wouldn't burn enough calories.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the kid steal the fan?

He wanted to be cool.

Why didn't Lebron go to college?

He didn't want to show up for the finals

Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

What did the farmer say when he heard the town gossiping about his cornfield fire?

My ears are burning!

How many guys in IT does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to identify that the lightbulb has indeed burned out, and one to call the maintenence man to change the lightbulb.

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

What does an elderly composer use as a walking aide?

A Zimmer frame

A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before. What can I get for you?"

Pop,goes the weasel.

President Jokes More President Jokes

What do call the President of Russia with an upset stomach?

Vladimir Poopin

How did the U. S. elect an Orange as president?

Gerrymandarin.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

What did the sea say to the river?

You can run but you can't tide!

Why does the Clyde run through Glasgow?

Because if it walked, it'd get jumped!

Calorie Jokes More Calorie Jokes

Why are Mistborns always so thin?

Because they're always Burning calories!

What are calories?

Little elves that tighten your waistband on your pants a little every night