Why do you want to run for President?

Because walking wouldn't burn enough calories.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What do condoms and taxes have in common?

Republicans are against them and Democrats want more for schools.

Why did the farmer use a steam roller?

He wanted to grow mashed potatoes.

Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

Why can you never get caught with a 0 in math?

Because cot(0) doesn't exist... This joke... it burns my eyes...

What do the LAPD and computers have in common?

They can both burn C.D's

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

What do The Walking Dead and Fast &amp Furious have in common?

Dead walkers

How are women and linoleum floors alike?

You lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them for the next 20 years.

President Jokes More President Jokes

What happens when the president of the United States has to use the bathroom?

The state of alert in the White House rises to Defecate 2.

Where does the President keep his armies?

In his Baracks

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

What do you call a person that ran away but changed their minds?

Canteloupe

Why did the cowgirl name her pony ink?

Because it kept running out of the pen!! My favorite joke when young.

Calorie Jokes More Calorie Jokes

Why did the arsonist go to the gym?

To burn some calories.

How do fireflies lose weight?

They burn calories.