Why do you want to run for President?

Because walking wouldn't burn enough calories.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What do we want!?

No daylight savings!" "When do we want it! " "An hour ago!!!"

What does a muslim man call a woman he wants to sleep with, but can't due to religious reasons?

Harambae

Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

What does weed and the Quran have in common?

If you burn it you get stoned

How Many Business Analysts Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb?

None. The light bulb shall never burn out. (OK. It's more cathartic than funny...)

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

What are the differences and similarities of flint michigan and the walking dead universe?

They are both post apocalyptic but only one produces brand new cars.

What do pirates and pimps have in common?

They both say "YO HO!" and walk with a limp!

President Jokes More President Jokes

What does the president of Russia call his toilet?

Vladimir's Poo Tin

Why can't Brock Turner go to jail?

Because with swim times like his, he might be president some day.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

Why are all those people running?

Why are all those people running B: They are running a race to get a cup. A: Who will get the cup B: The person who wins. A: Then why are all the others running

What do Detroit and the Olympics have in common?

You hear a gunshot and see a bunch of black guys running

Calorie Jokes More Calorie Jokes

How many calories does heartache burn?

Me: Depends on how many calories are in the person you are setting on fire.

What are calories?

Little elves that tighten your waistband on your pants a little every night