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Why do you want to run for President?

Because walking wouldn't burn enough calories.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What do you want to work on today?

Well we did neck day yesterday, and the day before. "So...neck day again" You bet

What does Harry Potter say when he wants a cigarette?

Tobaccio

Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

Why does frost not like to lay out in the sun?

It burns too easily

What did the mom say to her son when he said he didn't want any of her flippin' pancakes?

Fine. They will just be burnt on one side.

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

A ham sandwhich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says...

I'm sorry, we don't serve food here

What do you call a snarky criminal walking down stairs?

A condescending con descending.

President Jokes More President Jokes

Who is the president of the trees?

BarkOak Palma

Why should we elect Gabe Newell as President of the United States?

So there won't be a World War III.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

Why did the Japanese funeral home have to turn away new business?

They ran out of san storage

How long are you supposed to chase someone after your wallet gets stolen?

Because I'm tired of running and he's catching up....

Calorie Jokes More Calorie Jokes

How do fireflies lose weight?

They burn calories.

Why do you want to run for President?

Because walking wouldn't burn enough calories.