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How my girlfriend stay's thin. Wanna know how my girlfriend stays thin?

She burns most of her calories jumping to conclusions.

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Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

How do you best serve burned food?

Coal'd.

What do you get when you burn a Hungarian ghost?

Ghoul-ash!

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do we know Princess Diana had dandruff?

They found her Head & Shoulders under the steering wheel!

How are old jokes on reddit like a herpes outbreak?

You know they are going to keep coming back, and despite the fact they are weaker each time, you still don't look forward to them.

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

How did Jared lose 40 pounds?

He dumped his girlfriend

Why doesn't the guy with OCD ever get laid?

Because when he turns his girlfriend on he has to turn her off again three times.

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic, and a dyslexic?

Somebody who stays up all night torturing himself mentally over the question whether or not theres a dog.

What time is our movie tonight?

Me: 7:30. It's 2 hours 50 minutes Hub: WHAT! I CANT STAY UP TILL 10:30 "Back off ladies. He's mine"

Jump Jokes More Jump Jokes

What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of planes?

Meeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Why was Sir Lancelot too tired to jump over the moat?

He didn't get a good knight's leap. Wakka wakka!

Wanna Jokes More Wanna Jokes

How many children with ADHD does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Wanna go swimming?

How did the pothead propose to his girlfriend?

Marriage.. you wanna?

Calorie Jokes More Calorie Jokes

How my girlfriend stay's thin. Wanna know how my girlfriend stays thin?

She burns most of her calories jumping to conclusions.

How many calories does heartache burn?

Me: Depends on how many calories are in the person you are setting on fire.

Conclusion Jokes More Conclusion Jokes

Why did the introduction and the conclusion break up?

They were just never on the same page...

My older brother always tore the last pages of my comic books, and never told me why.

I had to draw my own conclusions.