What's the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?

My girlfriend knows about my wife.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a pizza, and this joke?

One has cheese on it, the other's just plain cheesy.

Whats the difference between a good haircut and a bad haircut?

About 3 weeks.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you move a 2000 lb dinosaur?

Don't know?? Use DINO-MITE

How do you know its noon on an Apple Watch?

The screen stays black when you check the time.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What do you throw a drowning Mexican?

His wife and kids.

What does a fire, flood, earthquake, tornado, hurricane, and a wife have in common?

Sooner or later, one of them is probably going to get your house.

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

What do you call a drummer who just broke up with his girlfriend?

Homeless

What do you do if your girlfriend is choking?

Back up a few inches