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What's the trick to satisfying your wife or girlfriend with only 3.5 inches?

Visa or Mastercard?

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What's the definition of a Polygamist?

Pupil: A parrot with more than one wife!

How's the ventriloquism going?

ME: Not good. WIFE: But I got you that Ventriloquism For Dummies book. ME: I don't think he read it.

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

What do you call your ex-girlfriend in Maryland?

Old bae.

What do I need a girlfriend for?

When the Reddit servers are ready to go down on me anytime?

Satisfy Jokes More Satisfy Jokes

How many black Oscar nominees would it take (compared to white nominees) to satisfy the boycotters?

Three-fifths as many seems like a generous offer.

What's the difference between a man and a woman?

A woman wants a man who can satisfy all her needs. A man wants all women who can satisfy his needs.

3.5 Inch Jokes More 3.5 Inch Jokes

How did Micro-soft get it's name?

Because Bill Gates has a 3.5 inch floppy

Whats the difference between and old computer and a woman?

A computer accepts a 3.5 inch floppy

Trick Jokes More Trick Jokes

Why do you love your puppy more than you love your wife?

Because the puppy only knows the tricks you taught her

Why can't you trick an aborted baby?

Because it was not born yesterday.