Why can't my girlfriend perform at open mic night?

Because she's a cover thief.

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Perform Jokes More Perform Jokes

How do they perform abortions at Hogwarts?

Fetus Deletus

What do you say when a Polish magician performs a magic trick?

Nailed it

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

How do you know when a mechanic has a girlfriend?

He has one clean finger.

Why did the astronomer break up with his girlfriend?

He just needed some space.