Pant Jokes

Where do I put my pants?

He said, "Over there by mine."

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What do blondes do after they comb their hair?

They pull up their pants.

Why is a dog so warm in Summer?

He wears a coat and pants.

What's the difference between Cottage Cheese and Cream Cheese?

I didn't cottage in my pants

When is an aardvark jumpy?

When he's got ants in his pants!

Why did the Priest go to Walmart?

Because the little boys pants were half off.

Why were the suspenders arrested?

For holding up a pair of pants.

What film do you get when you pull your pants down?

Free Willy

How do you think his pants fit him?

Like a glove.

What did the tree do when he got really nervous?

He SOILed his pants I'llseemyselfout...

What is Marios favorite type of pants?

Denim Denim Denim

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What are Mario and Luigi's favorite type of pants?

Denim, Denim, Denim

What pants do ghosts wear?

BOO jeans.

What kind of pants does the Pink Panther wear?

Denim Denim Denim Denim Denim Denim Deniiiiim

What's Mario's favorite type of pants?

DenimDenimDenim*

What is the sharpest thing in the world?

A fart. It will cut through your pants and not even leave a hole.

What do I have?

Someone else's pants.

What are the best clothes to wear to the dance club?

Boots and pants and boots and pants and boots and pants...

What's 6 inches long hard, bent, and in my pants?

My iPhone 6

What do you get when you cross a telephone with a pair of pants?

Bell-bottoms!

What did the pirate say with a steering wheel down his pants?

YARRR, IT'S DRIVIN' ME NUTS!!!

Why do you have a steering wheel in your pants?

The pirate says, "I don't know, but it's driving me nuts!"

What did the pirate with a steering wheel in his pants say when he couldn't remember why it was there?

Arrrh, it's driving me nuts

How does a pair of pants feel when it is ironed?

Depressed.

What kind of pants does agent Mulder wear?

Just a pair 'a normal pants.

What's the first rule here, boys?

Kid:Don't poop your pants M:I was gonna say "have fun" but...OK.

Why do little girls put fishes down their pants?

So the can smell like big girls!

How do Vampires buy pants if they can't look in a mirror?

Now, I tweet them

Why does a golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he gets a hole in one!

Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?

In case he got a hole-in-one.

What's the difference between Super Man and Spider Man?

Super Man wears his underwear over his pants..

What does a tight pair of pants and a cheap motel have in common?

No ballroom.

Why, Bro?

B1: Men with no pants... Fighting for a belt... WTF

Why no pants on?

We think he tried to jump into his pants & fell

Why did the Snowman pull his pants down?

Because the snowblower was coming.

Why bro?

Men with no pants fighting for a belt.. WTF

Why do firemen wear red suspenders?

To keep their pants up.

When does a Smurf pull his pants down?

Once in a blue moon.

How do yo get to Sesame Street?

Unzip my pants and ask big bird

What do Wal mart and priests have in common?

They both have boys pants half off. I'm going to hell

What kind of pants do the Super Mario Bros. wear?

Denim denim denim.....

Did you know you should always take an extra pair of pants golfing?

Just in case you get a hole in one.

What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo jeans.

Why did the belt go to prison?

He held up a pair of pants!

Why did the fireman wear red, white, and blue suspenders?

To hold his pants up.

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What do you call it when two bottles of lotion start dating?

A re-lotion-ship.

How Do You Get Stoned in Ancient Rome?

Start shouting Jehovah.

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What's the definition of a tree?

Something that stands still for forty years then suddenly jumps out in front of a woman driver.

Why doesn't Mexico live up to it's full potential in the Olympics?

Because all the Mexicans that can run, jump, and swim are in America.

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What do you call a room with no walls?

A mushroom. Some people don't think that this is a joke. But it makes me rofl all over the place.

Why didn't Santa give presents to any world leaders?

Because he thinks they're part of the illumi-naughty

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Why did Frosty the Snowman want a divorce?

Because he thought his wife was a flake.

What did the sun say after melting Frosty the Snowman?

I came, I thaw, I conquered.

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How many skunks do you need to make a house really smelly?

Just a phew!

Why did the baker get smelly fingers?

Because he needed a poo.

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kinds of birds are raised by only their mothers?

Blackbirds

When a seeing eye dog poops, who cleans it up?

This is the kind of stuff that makes my head hurt.

Priest Jokes More Priest Jokes

What kind of fun does a priest have?

Nun.

Whats the best way to castrate a priest?

Kick the alter boy in the chin

Collar Jokes More Collar Jokes

What's the difference between a priest and his dog?

One wears pants and a collar while the other wears a collar and pants.

Why is there lipstick on your collar?

She yelled. "It's part of the design," I said, opening up my wardrobe, "Look, I have the entire collection."