Pervert Jokes

How did the two perverts break up?

I think we should see other peepholes.

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Why did Frosty drop his pants?

Because he's a pervert that likes showing people his snowballs.

What's four inches long and drives women crazy?

A 100 dollar bill you pervert!

What's long and hard when you first put in in your mouth, but soft and wrinkly when you take it out?

A piece of gum, you pervert!

What did the pervert get for Christmas?

A partial in a pear tree.

What is big and hard when you put it in your mouth and small and soft when you take it out?

A chewing gum you pervert

Why is the letter 'B' commonly regarded as a pervert in the alphabet?

Because he can see the D

How many perverts does it take to put in a light bulb?

Only one, but... It takes the entire ER department to get it back out.

What does a man often wake with, but can never go to sleep with?

An alarm, you pervert!

Where does the pervert keep the underwear he steals?

In his briefcase!

What's the best way to attract a pervert?

The NSFW tag, you freak

This joke may have profanity.

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What do a carjacker and pervert have in common?

They're always cracking in-ya-windows!

Why'd the pervert cross the road?

He couldn't pull out of the chicken

How many perverts does it take to insert a light bulb?

Only one; However, it takes an entire emergency ward to get it back out again.

What's the difference between a daydreamer and a pervert?

A daydreamer stares out of windows.

How many perverts does it take to put in a lightbulb?

One. But it takes the whole emergency room to remove it.

How do you know that Ash Ketchum is a pervert?

Because he always takes a Pik-at-chu

Why did the pervert buy 16.5 pints of salsa?

2 gals 1 cup(http://www.reddit.com/r/Canning/comments/yyhsp/my20triptothelocallatinmarketnetted165/)

Why did the pervert like to watch girls in their entrance hallways?

He was a foyer.

How many perverts does it take to change a lightbulb?

What do you call a doctor who is trained in neurosurgery and is covering for a gynecologist?

A pervert.

What is the difference between a lentil and a chickpea?

A pervert wouldn't pay $200 to have a lentil on his face.

How many perverts does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one. But it takes the whole ER to get it out.

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What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school?

Bison.

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You have to drop the bomb on her twice before she gets it.

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What do you call a water fowl looking in a window?

Peking duck. (it came to mind over dinner... I thought I would share the pain with everyone)

What did the Chinaman cleaning the rotisserie say to the crestfallen window shopper?

No Peking!

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How much is the jackson five worth?

100 dollars

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A 100 dollar bill you pervert!

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What actor touches every girl on set?

David Cop-a-feel

What do you call a perverted Magician?

Q: What do you call a perverted Magician A: David "Cop a Feel"...ba dum cha!

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What kind of bait do you need to catch a master fish?

Super Bait

How many good deeds do you need to be called a superhero?

Because If it's one or less, I'm totally there.

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What do the LGBT community and computers have in common?

Most people over 50 are scared of them and think they are destroying the fabric of society!

Where do people with ADHD go?

To concentration camps.

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How did Luke Skywalker know what Darth Vader got him for Christmas?

He felt his presents.

Why can't you feel photons?

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What's the strongest letter in the alphabet?

P*** Even Superman can't hold it.

What's the most racist letter of the alphabet?

Not Z.