Gum Jokes

What kind of gum do bees chew?

BUMBLEGUM. Five year olds think it's hilarious. I do not.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What's the difference between a teacher and a train?

One says, "Spit out your gum!" The other goes, "Choo Choo Choo"

What's the best way to get gum out of your hair?

Cancer.

What's a good way to get gum out of your hair?

Getting diagnosed with cancer.

What's long and hard when you first put in in your mouth, but soft and wrinkly when you take it out?

A piece of gum, you pervert!

What do designers of gum call new flavors from old ingredients?

Ex-spearmints

How do you get gum out of your hair?

Get cancer

Why did the gum cross the road?

It was stuck to the chickens foot.

How do you get rid of chewing gum in your hair?

Cancer

How do you get gum out of hair?

Cancer -I'm sorry-

Why did the piece of gum cross the road?

It was stuck to the chicken.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Coffee Mug

What is the worst part about being black?

You never know if your gums are bruised.

What is the difference between a teacher and a train?

The teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Chew chew!"

What's the difference between a school teacher and a train?

A school teacher tells you to spit out your gum, a train says choo choo.

Why is a train like a stick of gum?

One goes choo-choo the other goes chew-chew.

What's the easiest way to get gum out of your hair?

Cancer

What's a difference between a teacher and a train?

The teacher tells you to spit you gum out. The train says, "Chew, chew, chew!"

What kind of gum do astronauts chew?

Hubble Bubble

What type of gum does a Buddhist perfer?

Enlightenmint! More Gum Jokes!

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Inspire Jokes More Inspire Jokes

What flavor gum does a scientist prefer?

Exspearamint. inspired by the presidential gum joke.

What's the difference between a feminist and a battery?

Batteries have a positive side! inspired by: http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/2zlrot/howmanyfeministsdoesittaketochangea/

Bruise Jokes More Bruise Jokes

Why did the banana bruise?

Because it was given a good fruit punch! zing

What is the worst part about being black?

You never know if your gums are bruised.

Rid Jokes More Rid Jokes

Why did Caitlyn Jenner have a differently spelled version of Caitlin?

Because she can't get rid of the Y chromosome

How do cops get rid of flies?

They call in a S.W.A.T. team

Prefer Jokes More Prefer Jokes

Why do blondes prefer the pill instead the condom?

Because it's waaay easier to swallow

How many bros does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They prefer Natural Light.

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What did Stevie Wonder's younger brother think their parents named him after British royalty?

Because they named him Stevie Twoder.

What do you call a snowman who cons people?

A snowfake.

Cancer Jokes More Cancer Jokes

What did the deaf, dumb, blind, amputee kid get for Christmas?

Cancer.

What did the blind deaf mute boy in a wheelchair get for Christmas?

Cancer!

Diagnose Jokes More Diagnose Jokes

What did the woman say when she was diagnosed with cerebal palsy?

Nothing, she was too disabled to speak

What do you call someone on the borderline of being diagnosed with a borderline personality disorder?

An asylum seeker.

Scientist Jokes More Scientist Jokes

What do you do to a scientist after he dies?

You Barium.

What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of Helium?

HeHe