Country Jokes

What country are the majority of dress pants made?

Khakistan!

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Which country will be the first to change to all electric vehicles?

Madagascar

How do you know that you're a peaceful country?

When you realize that you can't spell country without UN.

Which country has many spaces to put your car in?

Park-istan!

What is a Mexican's favorite Olympic event?

Cross country

Which country do doctors hate?

Any

What country is next to USA?

USB.

What language do pigs speak?

Depends on which country they're from.

What do you call a country that doesn't use credit cards?

A Czech Republic

What do you call someone in the army that knows the capital of every country on earth?

General Knowledge

Why was Stalin a Bad leader?

Because he was staling a country that was rushing..(Russia) This joke was bad. Im going to bed now.

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Why do clouds make good Kings?

Because they have rain over every country in the world.

What happens when everyone in the country takes a pee at the same time?

Urine-nation!

Why is USA so gloomy?

Because only two parties exist for the whole country

What country has many sugar?

Sweetzerland

What country always follows Zimbabwe?

Zimbab-Bee!

Which country has the most number of bacteria, viruses, fungus and other micro-organisms?

GerMany

What country are you most likely to get a disease?

GERMany.

What do you call a sick bird of prey that enters the country without permission?

An ill-eagle

What country has the most internet crimes?

E-gypt

What country has the most people?

Brazil... They've got Brazillions

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Who's Becky, Stan?

She's just a country!

What country does fried fish swim in?

Greece! (courtesy of my ten year old)

What country is the most fragile?

China!

What country uses the most foul language?

Turkey

What is a Mexican's favorite sport event?

Cross country

What country can't be hacked?

Madagascar, because all their ports are closed.

What country is ill?

Germany.

What's a Mexican's favourite sport?

Cross country

Why did the Polish person marry someone from the other side of the country?

Because opposite poles attract

Which country has the most crying people per km?

The Soviet Onion

What country has the strictest dress code?

Thai-land.

Which country has the nicest children?

Germany. German children are kinder.

What country are you from?

I asked. "Iraq" he said. "How did you escape " I asked. IRAN

Why do countries "cut ties" when things get tense?

So weird having men walk around in suits and half ties.

What country do I live?

Iran

What country has the highest concentration of pool players?

Irack.

What's a Mexicans favorite game?

Cross country.

What would call it if all the cars in the country were pink?

A pink carnation.

Why did the pioneers cross the country in covered wagons?

Because they didn't want to wait 40 years for a train!

What's a European immigrant's favorite high school sport?

Cross country

What's the biggest type of tree?

A Country.

Where is the CAPITAL of out COUNTRY?

Student -"in Swiss Banks"..

What country do cows love to visit?

Moo Zealand!

What country do all cats wish to get their food from?

Viet NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM

What do you call a country ruled by oppressive Vikings?

Norse Korea

How many countries border Germany?

Nein!

How did Canada name their country?

They picked random letters from a hat. C, eh N, eh D, eh

What country most despises cars that run on gasoline?

Mad-at-gas-cars!

Why hasn't Africa ever won Olympic gold in basketball?

Because Africa isn't a country.

What country has 6 faces, and 8 points?

Cuba

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What did the Mexican wife say to her Husband?

You'll never be president, Jeb.

Why isn't the Vice President running for President this year?

Cuz he's Biden his time.

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What's WRONG with me?

I named 6 things before I realized it was a rhetorical question.

What do you have when you just used the toilet and realized there's no toilet paper?

A real mess on your hands.

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What's the difference between a dead bagpiper in the road and a dead country singer in the road?

A. The country singer may have been on the way to a recording session.

How many country singers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw in the lightbulb and another to sing about all the good times they had with the lightbulb.

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How do you spell relief?

F-A-R-T

How do you spell that?

T-h-a-t

Kin Jokes More Kin Jokes

What does a West Virginia couple do on Halloween?

They pump kin.

What song do turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day?

God save the kin.

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How did the blonde break her leg playing hockey with the Toronto Maple Leafs?

She fell out of the tree.

Why is an egg like a young horse?

Because it can't be used until it's broken!

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