Country Jokes

Why do baby boomers like fracking so much?

Because figuratively breaking the country apart isn't enough.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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What country are the majority of dress pants made?

Khakistan!

Which country will be the first to change to all electric vehicles?

Madagascar

How do you know that you're a peaceful country?

When you realize that you can't spell country without UN.

How do people in other countries tell if kids are using drugs?

Here in the U.S. we just ask them how many grams are in an ounce.

Which country has many spaces to put your car in?

Park-istan!

Which country do doctors hate?

Any

What country makes the most milk?

Nepal

What country is next to USA?

USB.

What's the difference between Gordon Ramsey and a run in the forest?

Ones a pant in the country the others a...

What language do pigs speak?

Depends on which country they're from.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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What do you call a country that doesn't use credit cards?

A Czech Republic

What do you call a country ruled by dank memes?

Kappatalism

What do you call someone in the army that knows the capital of every country on earth?

General Knowledge

Where do black person go to travel cross-country?

The Newport (My first joke, sorry if bad 8)

Why was Stalin a Bad leader?

Because he was staling a country that was rushing..(Russia) This joke was bad. Im going to bed now.

Why do clouds make good Kings?

Because they have rain over every country in the world.

What happens when everyone in the country takes a pee at the same time?

Urine-nation!

Why is USA so gloomy?

Because only two parties exist for the whole country

What country has many sugar?

Sweetzerland

What country always follows Zimbabwe?

Zimbab-Bee!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Which country has the most number of bacteria, viruses, fungus and other micro-organisms?

GerMany

What country are you most likely to get a disease?

GERMany.

What do you call a sick bird of prey that enters the country without permission?

An ill-eagle

What country has the most internet crimes?

E-gypt

What country has the most people?

Brazil... They've got Brazillions

Who's Becky, Stan?

She's just a country!

What country does fried fish swim in?

Greece! (courtesy of my ten year old)

What country is the most fragile?

China!

What country uses the most foul language?

Turkey

What is a Mexican's favorite sport event?

Cross country

Why don't many Greek men move to other countries?

They don't want to leave their brothers behind

What does the new socialist leader of France mean for the country, Europe, and the world?

Nationalized wine.. Sounds like the right wing will have some whine too.

What country can't be hacked?

Madagascar, because all their ports are closed.

How's Terry Fox like Jack Layton?

They both tried to run a country and died before finishing.

What do you call a country of grizzlies that is always stoned?

A hibearnation.

What country is ill?

Germany.

What's a Mexican's favourite sport?

Cross country

Why did the Polish person marry someone from the other side of the country?

Because opposite poles attract

Which country has the most crying people per km?

The Soviet Onion

What are the people from the country Lesbia called?

Lesbians

What country has the strictest dress code?

Thai-land.

Which country has the nicest children?

Germany. German children are kinder.

Why do they call them "country bumpkins"?

Because in the country, you bump your kin!

What country are you from?

I asked. "Iraq" he said. "How did you escape " I asked. IRAN

Why do countries "cut ties" when things get tense?

So weird having men walk around in suits and half ties.

What country do I live?

Iran

What country has the highest concentration of pool players?

Irack.

What's a Mexicans favorite game?

Cross country.

What's the difference between Ellen Pao and Kim Jong Un?

Kim Jong Un has control over his country.

What would call it if all the cars in the country were pink?

A pink carnation.

Why did the pioneers cross the country in covered wagons?

Because they didn't want to wait 40 years for a train!

Why did the Polish government have to finally ban water-polo throughout the country?

Too many horses were drowning.

What's a European immigrant's favorite high school sport?

Cross country

What's the biggest type of tree?

A Country.

Who's about to run this country?

Yea that

Where is the CAPITAL of out COUNTRY?

Student -"in Swiss Banks"..

What country do cows love to visit?

Moo Zealand!

What country do all cats wish to get their food from?

Viet NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM

What do you call a country ruled by oppressive Vikings?

Norse Korea

How many countries border Germany?

Nein!

How did Canada name their country?

They picked random letters from a hat. C, eh N, eh D, eh

What country most despises cars that run on gasoline?

Mad-at-gas-cars!

Why hasn't Africa ever won Olympic gold in basketball?

Because Africa isn't a country.

What country has 6 faces, and 8 points?

Cuba

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Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happens when a high school calls in a replacement teacher for a subject they know nothing about?

Ooops... wrong sub.

What happens to a frog that parks illegally?

He gets toad.

Mexican Favorite Sport Jokes More Mexican Favorite Sport Jokes

What is a Mexican's favorite sport?

It used to be cross country but now it's rock climbing.

What's a Mexican's favorite sport?

Cross Country.

State Jokes More State Jokes

What other US state can fit Kansas inside of it?

Arkansas

Which state has the worst carbonated drinks?

Menace-Soda.

Road Jokes More Road Jokes

Why Did the Paradox Cross the road?

Because it didn't.

What did the lions say to his cubs when he taught them to hunt?

Don't go over the road till you see the zebra crossing.'

Bump Jokes More Bump Jokes

Why does Hillary keep bumping into people at the White House?

So she can be pardoned.

Why did the dog have a gleam in his eye?

Someone bumped his elbow while he was brushing his teeth.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

Whats the difference between Zoidburg and Snowden?

Both accused of treason for expressing their freedom but Zoidburg didn't get his marshmallows!

What's the difference between Michael j. Fox and an earthquake?

Earthquakes stop shaking

Country Singer Jokes More Country Singer Jokes

How many country singers does it take to change a lightbulb?

One to put in the new one, and two to sing about how good the old one was.

What's the difference between a dead bagpiper in the road and a dead country singer in the road?

A. The country singer may have been on the way to a recording session.

Cross Country Jokes More Cross Country Jokes

What's the most popular sport in Mexico?

Cross-country.

What is Mexico's favorite sport?

Cross-country