Why does Hillary keep bumping into people at the White House?

So she can be pardoned.

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People Jokes More People Jokes

Why doesn't Gandalf dress as a pimp for Halloween?

So people do not take him as a conjurer of cheap tricks.

Why do people always talk in absolutes?

I would never do that. It's the worst.

Hillary Jokes More Hillary Jokes

What's Hillary's thoughts about her campaign?

Iran, Iraq, I lost

What Biblical and Renaissance characters does Hillary most resemble?

Jezebel and Lucretia Borgia.

Bump Jokes More Bump Jokes

What does a barcode say if he bumps into another barcode?

SKU me

Why did the giraffe cross the highway?

Because he bumped his head on the low-way! I guess we're doing 4 year old's jokes today

White House Jokes More White House Jokes

What was white outside and black inside?

The White House.

What did Richard Nixon say after he tried to make dinner at the White House for the first time?

I am not a cook

Pardon Jokes More Pardon Jokes

Why did you cut off your ear?

Van Gogh: pardon

What did the turkey say when he accidentally bumped into the president?

Pardon me.