Bump Jokes

What does a barcode say if he bumps into another barcode?

SKU me

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Why did the bus driver drop his coffee?

Because he hit a bump in the road. What was the bump in the road? Little Timmy.

What did the grocery clerk say when he bumped his head when he was in the freezer?

Nothing, he was knocked out.

What did the tectonic plate say when it bumped into another?

Sorry, my fault.

Why did the giraffe cross the highway?

Because he bumped his head on the low-way! I guess we're doing 4 year old's jokes today

What did the fish say when it bumped its head?

Dam.

What sounds like a robot and bumps into tables?

Stephen Hawking.

What happens when two oxen bump into each other?

You have an oxident.

Why do they call them "country bumpkins"?

Because in the country, you bump your kin!

What did the dolphin say to the whale when he bumped into him?

I didn't do it on porpoise.

What's the difference between falling 2 ft and 200 ft?

200 ft: Aaaaaaaaa, bump 2 ft: Bump, aaaaaaaaa (Yes, it's an old, really old joke. Surprisingly haven't seen it here, yet.)

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Why did the dog have a gleam in his eye?

Someone bumped his elbow while he was brushing his teeth.

What was the Italian hot tub that was so small it's occupants always bumped into each other called?

Ja-scusi.

What did the turkey say when he accidentally bumped into the president?

Pardon me.

What did the tectonic plate say to the other tectonic plate when he bumped into the him?

Sorry, my fault.

Why was the school principal not pleased when he bumped into an old friend?

They were both driving their cars at the time!

Why does Hillary keep bumping into people at the White House?

So she can be pardoned.

What did Hillary say when she bumped into Donald after the election?

Pardon me

What did the man say when he accidentally bumped into the astronaut?

I Apollo-gize

How do Polish dogs get bumps on their heads?

Chasing parked cars.

How did the explorer react when the which doctor turned him into a miniature ballsack?

He was a little testie! Bump dump pshhh!

This joke may have profanity.

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Dam Jokes More Dam Jokes

What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?

Dam!

What did the cow say when she saw the Dalmatian?

Dam... I got to get in shape!

Eye Jokes More Eye Jokes

Which part of your body shuts down last when you die?

The eyes, cause they di-late.

What do you call a terrorist who's missing an eye?

Him: I give up Me: A terrorst

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What would happen if you were to cross two snowmen with three vampires?

You would get severe frostbite.

Why did the blonde cross the road?

I don't know. Neither did she!

Giraffe Jokes More Giraffe Jokes

What do you call a basketball team full of giraffes?

The New York Necks

Why are giraffes so tall?

Because cheetahs are faster.

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

What if they had a call center where they call you everyday with a mission to make you laugh?

But instead of a call center, they called it a lol center! So much lol, that it will make you fall!

What is your favorite dumb joke?

Mine would have to be Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not sally.

Little Timmy Jokes More Little Timmy Jokes

Why does little Timmy keep throwing up gang signs?

Because he ate too much of them.

Why did the bus driver drop his coffee?

Because he hit a bump in the road. What was the bump in the road? Little Timmy.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How many 2nd trumpets does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. They can't get that high! (My band teacher told me that one today)

How does a cat tell time??

In meowers

Bus Driver Jokes More Bus Driver Jokes

What is the difference between a bus driver and a cold?

One knows the stops the other stops the nose.

Why have you parked your bus here?

Bus Driver: The sign says "Bus Stop."