Bump Jokes

What does a barcode say if he bumps into another barcode?

SKU me

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What did the tectonic plate say when it bumped into another?

Sorry, my fault.

Why did the giraffe cross the highway?

Because he bumped his head on the low-way! I guess we're doing 4 year old's jokes today

What did the fish say when it bumped its head?

Dam.

What sounds like a robot and bumps into tables?

Stephen Hawking.

What happens when two oxen bump into each other?

You have an oxident.

Why do they call them "country bumpkins"?

Because in the country, you bump your kin!

What did the dolphin say to the whale when he bumped into him?

I didn't do it on porpoise.

What's the difference between falling 2 ft and 200 ft?

200 ft: Aaaaaaaaa, bump 2 ft: Bump, aaaaaaaaa (Yes, it's an old, really old joke. Surprisingly haven't seen it here, yet.)

Why did the dog have a gleam in his eye?

Someone bumped his elbow while he was brushing his teeth.

What was the Italian hot tub that was so small it's occupants always bumped into each other called?

Ja-scusi.

$Your Age Is Only Math$

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What did the turkey say when he accidentally bumped into the president?

Pardon me.

What did the tectonic plate say to the other tectonic plate when he bumped into the him?

Sorry, my fault.

Why was the school principal not pleased when he bumped into an old friend?

They were both driving their cars at the time!

Why does Hillary keep bumping into people at the White House?

So she can be pardoned.

What did Hillary say when she bumped into Donald after the election?

Pardon me

What did the man say when he accidentally bumped into the astronaut?

I Apollo-gize

How do Polish dogs get bumps on their heads?

Chasing parked cars.

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2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

What kind of fish is made of two sodium atoms?

2 Na!

What fish is made of only two sodium ions?

2 Na

Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

Why did the opera singer go sailing?

They wanted to hit the high Cs.

What's the difference between U-Haul and Youtube?

People are'nt happy for you when you get loads of hits on your U-Haul.

Barcode Jokes More Barcode Jokes

Why did Sweden start painting barcodes on the sides of their battleships?

So they could Scandinavian.

What does a barcode say if he bumps into another barcode?

SKU me

Concrete Jokes More Concrete Jokes

What did the fish say when he hit concrete?

Dam(n).

What do British people call concrete?

Arsephalt

Drop Jokes More Drop Jokes

How many rudeboys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Twenty. 1 to drop it, 19 to go "Pick it up, pick it up, pick it up".

Why do you have your thumb on my steak?

So I don't drop it again, Sir.

Giraffe Jokes More Giraffe Jokes

What do you get if you cross a giraffe with a dog?

An animal that barks at low flying aircraft!

What do you call a zoo with only Giraffes?

Giraffic Park!!!!!!!

Speed Jokes More Speed Jokes

What happened to Frankenstein's monster on the road?

He was stopped for speeding fined $50 and dismantled for six months.

What do you yell when a woman falls of a boat?

Full speed ahead

Customer Jokes More Customer Jokes

What do you call customers at Lidl?

Lidl people.

Why did Renault name a car "Le Car"?

So customers wouldn't accidentally drive Le Lawnmower to work.