Rule Jokes

What's the first rule of contradiction club?

There is no contradiction club

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What is the worst place to have the "you break it, you buy it" rule?

The pet store

What do you call a lawmaker in a society ruled by horses that says one thing but does the opposite?

A hippocratic hypocrite.

What do you call a country ruled by dank memes?

Kappatalism

What does a fish say when he hits concrete?

Dam! A customer told me that joke, equipped with an " old guys rule" shirt and a hardy fist bump.

Who would rule in a dog world?

The pawlice.

What do the umpires rule it?

Fowl ball

What's the rule for Twitter crushes?

So far I'm in love with 800 women, 2 dudes, and a llama. Send condoms.

What's the first rule of bug ownership?

Watch your step!

What famous chiropodist ruled England?

William the Corn-cutter!

Who ruled France until he exploded?

Napoleon Blownapart!

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What did Caesar say to Cleopatra?

Toga-ether we can rule the world!

What is the first rule of Womans fight club?

Never tell anyone what are you so mad about

What do you call a vampire, that follows the rules?

Draculaw

What do you call a country ruled by oppressive Vikings?

Norse Korea

What artistic dog chews a lot and follows the rules of the farm where it lives?

A Chihuahua that can draw and gnaw while obeying the law and lying on straw!

If I had to guess the religion of Daniel Day Lewis...

I would probably say Methodist.

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What's the saddest computer you can buy?

A Dell

How did SkyMall go bankrupt?

I bought all my wife's birthday presents there before she left me.

Catholic Jokes More Catholic Jokes

What do you call it when a Catholic renovates his kitchen?

A counter reformation.

What do you call a sleepwalking nun?

A roamin Catholic

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What does Jerry Jones do after winning the Super Bowl?

Gives the X Box back to grandkids

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What does a shopping cart and a wheelchair have in common?

They both can be used to carry vegetables....

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What is the worst place to hide in a hospital?

The ICU (I-see-you!)

What's the worst place to be during a tornado?

Cracker Barrel.

Christian Jokes More Christian Jokes

What's a Christian's least favorite typeface?

Helvetica, it's the fount of all evil.

What do you call Batman if he leaves church?

Christian bail.

Consider Jokes More Consider Jokes

Why is camping considered an intense sport?

Because it's intense

Why is Halloween considered the scariest time of the year?

Most weddings happen in June.

Child Jokes More Child Jokes

Why are women and children evacuated first in an emergency?

So the men can think of a solution in silence.

What did the hot dogs name their child?

Frank