Rule Jokes

What's the first rule of contradiction club?

There is no contradiction club

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

What is the worst place to have the "you break it, you buy it" rule?

The pet store

What do you call a lawmaker in a society ruled by horses that says one thing but does the opposite?

A hippocratic hypocrite.

What does a fish say when he hits concrete?

Dam! A customer told me that joke, equipped with an " old guys rule" shirt and a hardy fist bump.

Who would rule in a dog world?

The pawlice.

What do the umpires rule it?

Fowl ball

What's the first rule of bug ownership?

Watch your step!

What famous chiropodist ruled England?

William the Corn-cutter!

Who ruled France until he exploded?

Napoleon Blownapart!

What did Caesar say to Cleopatra?

Toga-ether we can rule the world!

What is the first rule of Womans fight club?

Never tell anyone what are you so mad about

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

What do you call a vampire, that follows the rules?

Draculaw

What do you call a country ruled by oppressive Vikings?

Norse Korea

What artistic dog chews a lot and follows the rules of the farm where it lives?

A Chihuahua that can draw and gnaw while obeying the law and lying on straw!

If I had to guess the religion of Daniel Day Lewis...

I would probably say Methodist.

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Server Jokes More Server Jokes

Why is Steam called Steam?

Because the servers are always steaming hot

What do you call a server at a funeral?

A wake-tress

Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

Why is a UTI such a bad thing?

Because it means urine trouble

Where is the lift?

American: You mean the elevator? English: Yes, we call it a lift. American: It's called an elevator. We invented it. English: And we invented the language.

Squirtle Jokes More Squirtle Jokes

How do you get Squirtle, Charmander and Pikachu onto a bus?

You Pokémon.

Pokemon Jokes More Pokemon Jokes

What is a German's favorite Pokemon?

NEINtales

Where is the Pokemon?

Peek-a-chu!

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

Why does toilet paper need a commercial?

Who is not buying this

Where does the Empire buy their robes?

The Darth Mall!

Catholic Jokes More Catholic Jokes

Did you know that protons have mass?

I didn't even know they were catholic.

What's a Catholic's favorite way to send money?

PayPal

Opposite Jokes More Opposite Jokes

What is the opposite of paranoia?

Thinking you are following someone.

What is the opposite of a Predator?

A Postdator

Post Jokes More Post Jokes

What do you call a girl between two posts?

Annette.

How do you know if a joke has been posted on reddit before?

Oh, they'll tell you.