Rule Jokes

What's the first rule of contradiction club?

There is no contradiction club

April Sale

What is the worst place to have the "you break it, you buy it" rule?

The pet store

What do you call a lawmaker in a society ruled by horses that says one thing but does the opposite?

A hippocratic hypocrite.

Why does Pokémon have only one save file per game?

I mean think about it, One for Charmander One for Squirtle and one for your second charmander. (found that but it's against rules to post links lol so I'll just leave that here for a good laugh)

What do you call a country ruled by dank memes?

Kappatalism

How do you get banned from a subreddit without breaking the rules?

Post something humorous in. P.S: Is there anyway to ungild myself?

What does a fish say when he hits concrete?

Dam! A customer told me that joke, equipped with an " old guys rule" shirt and a hardy fist bump.

Who would rule in a dog world?

The pawlice.

What are the rules about Canadians?

Does everybody get one Do I get to choose Where do I sign up

What did the sign say?

Grandkids: No children in shopping cart :((Me: Rules are rules.

April Sale

What's the rule for Twitter crushes?

So far I'm in love with 800 women, 2 dudes, and a llama. Send condoms.

What's the first rule of bug ownership?

Watch your step!

What famous chiropodist ruled England?

William the Corn-cutter!

Who ruled France until he exploded?

Napoleon Blownapart!

How do you know the rules of football was written by an Italian?

You switch sides at half time.

What did Caesar say to Cleopatra?

Toga-ether we can rule the world!

What is the first rule of Womans fight club?

Never tell anyone what are you so mad about

What's the first rule here, boys?

Kid:Don't poop your pants M:I was gonna say "have fun" but...OK.

What do you call a vampire, that follows the rules?

Draculaw

What do you call a country ruled by oppressive Vikings?

Norse Korea

April Sale

What artistic dog chews a lot and follows the rules of the farm where it lives?

A Chihuahua that can draw and gnaw while obeying the law and lying on straw!

If I had to guess the religion of Daniel Day Lewis...

I would probably say Methodist.

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Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Why did Michael Jackson call Boyz II Men?

Because he thought it was a delivery service.

What does Matthew McConaughey think about an all white, Republican Government?

Altright, altright, altright

Society Jokes More Society Jokes

Why do we live in a society where pizza arrives faster than police do?

Because the pizza guy has consequences for not doing his job correctly. "Oh damn, shots fired!" But not by the pizza guy.

How many people does it take to change a light bulb?

Is just one of the questions I should have asked before buying a lighthouse....

Person 1: Suggest me a good phone to buy nowadays. Person 2: Microsoft Lumia 950 XL is good for winters, will keep you warm. Very warm. Person 1: So what about summers then? Person 2: Same, it freezes often as well