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If I had to guess the religion of Daniel Day Lewis...

I would probably say Methodist.

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What is the difference between leaves and a car?

One you brush and rake, the other you rush and brake.

How should I respond?

Source: http://qr.ae/xUchD

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What did the sign say?

Grandkids: No children in shopping cart :((Me: Rules are rules.

Who ruled France until he exploded?

Napoleon Blownapart!