What famous chiropodist ruled England?

William the Corn-cutter!

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Why does England always get attacked in the summer?

Because the Knights are shorter then.

Why is England the wettest country?

Monarchies have reigned there for centuries.

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What's the first rule of contradiction club?

There is no contradiction club

What famous chiropodist ruled England?

William the Corn-cutter!

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Why was William considered a enemy?

Because, His last name was Dafoe

Why are there no guys named William serving in the army?

Because they dislike the phrase "Fire at Will"