England Jokes

What's the different between England and a tea bag?

A tea bag last longer in the cup

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What do they call the 13th floor in England?

The 12th floor.

Why did the siamese twins moved to England?

So the other one would also drive

Why does England always get attacked in the summer?

Because the Knights are shorter then.

What's the difference between a tea bag and England?

A tea bag stays longer in a cup.

What do you call a starving artist from 17th Century England?

Baroque

How do you lose 30 pounds in 1 Minute?

Go to England and buy something

Why do penguins never go to England?

Because they're afraid of Wales!

Who is the poorest in England?

The Tooth Fairy!

What's the difference between England and a cup of tea?

The teabag stays in the cup longer.

What's the difference between England and a teabag?

The teabag stays in the cup longer.

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What's the difference between England and a tea bag?

A tea bag stays in the cup longer!

Why did the Siamese twins move to England?

So the one on the right could drive for a change.

Why did the Siamese Twins travel to England?

So the other one could drive

Which England player keeps up the fuel supply?

Paul gas coin!

What famous chiropodist ruled England?

William the Corn-cutter!

Why is the letter E like London?

Because it is the capital of England.

What is the most romantic city in England?

Loverpool!

What do they do for the 4th of July in England?

Sulk.

What's the difference between England and an egg cup?

An egg can stay in the cup longer

What's next to England?

A question mark.

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What kind of umbrella does the Queen of England carry on a rainy day?

A wet one.

Why is England the wettest country?

Monarchies have reigned there for centuries.

What's Christmas called in England?

Yule Britannia!

Why is England so special?

Only they can pull out of Europe twice in a week.

Why is it "canceled" in America, but "cancelled" in England?

Because we gave them that L in 1776.

Where's England, Jon?

He proudly answers: - Page 83.

Why is the time in the USA behind that of England?

Because England was discovered before the USA!

How do you get two whales in a car?

Start in England and drive West.

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12th Jokes More 12th Jokes

What do the 12th of July and the end of an essay have in common?

They're both summary!

How do you make the 12th man Happy?

FIRE BEVELL

Starve Jokes More Starve Jokes

Why can't you starve in a desert?

Because of all the sand which is there.

What do you call a bear in the Arctic?

Starving.

Tail Jokes More Tail Jokes

Where does a dog go when his tail falls off?

The retail store

What lands as often on its tail as it does its head?

A penny.

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

How do bulls drive their cars?

They steer them!

Why did the bank drive-up window teller have tire tread marks across the back of his grey suit?

From crawling across the street when the sign said: "Don't Walk."

Tea Bag Jokes More Tea Bag Jokes

Why did the tea-bag fall down the hill?

To steep.

What is the difference between Liverpool football and a tea bag?

The tea bag stays in the cup longer.

Holme Jokes More Holme Jokes

What did the Mexican say when his roof fell on him?

Get off me Holmes!

What type of rock is this Holmes?

It's sedimentary my dear Watson!

Siamese Jokes More Siamese Jokes

Why didn't the Siamese chicken cross the road?

He was two chickens

Why did the Siamese twins move to England?

So the one on the right could drive for a change.

Wale Jokes More Wale Jokes

Why do penguins never go to England?

Because they're afraid of Wales!

What's the difference between a tennis ball and the prince of Wales?

One is heir to the throne and the other is thrown into the air.