Tail Jokes

Where'd the dog who lost his tail go to get a new one?

A retail store.

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What does a dog do when it loses it's tail?

Goes to a retail store to find another one.

What do you call a reptile biting its own tail?

An alligatorus

What do you get if you tie two camels together by the tails?

A palindromedary.

Why did the blind man swing his seeing eye dog around by the tail?

He was taking a look around

Where do lions go if they lose their tails?

To the re-tail store.

How do you stop an elephant going through the eye of a needle?

By tying a knot on its tail.

Where should you take your cat, if it somehow loses its tail?

Walmart, they're the world's biggest retailer. Thank you. I'll be here all week.

How can you tell a dog is a cool dog?

It swags its tail.

Why did the poor dog chase his tail?

Because he was trying to make both ends meet.

Who's the biggest player in the Hundred Acre Wood?

Eeyore, he's always chasing that tail.

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What do you call a reptile that can't grow its tail back?

A Reptile Dysfunction.

What's the perfect line of work for a lizard?

Re-tail.

What is the difference?

What its the difference between a quarter and a guy? Neither gets had when you want tail

What did the monkey say when he put his tail on the railroad tracks?

It's won't be long now!

What's the difference between a dog and a marine biologist?

One wags it's tail, while the other tags a whale

Where do animals go when they lose their tails?

The retail store!

What do you get when you cross a ring-tailed lemur with a U-Haul truck?

I'm not sure, but I know

What did the monkey say when he caught his tail in the revolving door?

It won't be long now...

Why did the business dog chase his tail?

So he could make ends meet!

What did the CIA dogs say when they supsected they were being followed?

Looks like we got a tail.

$Your Age Is Only Math$

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What does a cat say when you tread on its tail?

ME-OW! I am very sorry. Just thought of it and felt like everyone should hear it. Maybe some jokes are better left untold...

What place of business helps dogs who have lost their tails?

A retail store.

Why do elephants squirt water through their noses?

If they squirted it through their tails it'd be very difficult to aim.

Where does a dog go when he loses his tail?

A retail store.

Why do dogs wag their tails?

Because no one else will do it for them!

Why does a dog wag it's tail?

No one else will do it for them

What can we do to make it even scarier?

Put a toy for babies on its tail. YES

Why did Prince Eric leave Ariel when she became a human?

He was just chasing tail.

How did the mermaid get into a car crash?

Because she was fish tailing!

Where are most fish found?

Between the head and the tail!

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Why is a pig in a water trough like a penny?

Because its head is on one side and its tail is on the other.

What is it called when a reptile loses its tail?

Ereptile Dysfunction

Why is it difficult to identify horses from the back?

They're always switching their tails!

Where do Doggos go when they lose their tail?

THE RETAIL STORE!

What lands as often on its tail as it does its head?

A penny.

Where do animals go when their tails falls off?

The retail store

What did the dog say when he chased his tail?

This is the end.

What has a head, a tail, and no body?

A coin!

What followed the dinosaur?

It's tail!

Why is a cat like a penny?

Because it has a head on one side and a tail on the other.

What has six legs two arms four eyes and a tail?

A man holding an aardvark.

Where do animals go when their Tails fall off?

The Retail store

Where do dogs go when they lose their tail?

The retail store.

Why are dogs bad at poker?

Because they wag their tails whenever they have a good hand. Why did John's dog win the poker tournament Because he's a Doberman.

Where do dogs go when they lose their tails?

To a retail store.

What has two heads, four eyes, six legs, and a tail?

A horse and rider.

Which dog is always without a tail?

A hot dog.

Where does a dog go when his tail falls off?

The retail store

Why do dogs chase their tails?

They want to make ends meet.

Where did the cat go when it lost it's tail?

To the retail store!

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Knot Jokes More Knot Jokes

What do you call a Sailor's hitch in the Arctic?

Knot cool

What did the string say when the rope proposed marriage?

Let's knot.

Retail Store Jokes More Retail Store Jokes

What place of business helps dogs who have lost their tails?

A retail store.

Where does a dog go when his tail falls off?

The retail store

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

Why do the police hate teenage fireflies?

They never stop lighting up.

How do you stop your bacon from curling in the pan?

Take their little stones and brooms away!

Elephant Jokes More Elephant Jokes

Why do ducks have webbed feet?

To stomp out fires. Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out the burning ducks.

How do you know if there is an elephant in bed with you?

He has a big E on his pajamas.

New Jokes More New Jokes

When the boy broke his knee, where did he go to get a new one?

At the butcher shop, where they sell kid-knees.

What made Bruce decide against Jacqueline for his new name?

He was afraid his nickname would be Jockie.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

Which one is the odd one out; a Crab, a Tuna, a Chinese man run over by a bus or a Lobster?

A tuna, because the rest of them are crustaceans.

What do you get if you cross a labrador and a tortoise?

A dog that will run to the shop to get your paper and bring back last weeks paper!

Bite Jokes More Bite Jokes

What do you get if you cross Dracula with Sir Lancelot?

A bite in shining armor.

How do you get a man to stop biting his nails?

Make him wear shoes.

Walmart Jokes More Walmart Jokes

Why did the Priest go to Walmart?

Because the little boys pants were half off.

Why does Walmart have so many handicapped parking spots?

Because they want to have some available to customers too!