Consider Jokes

What's the main thing a woman needs to think about when considering a potential boyfriend?

Is this the man I want my kids to spend every second weekend with?

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Why is camping considered an intense sport?

Because it's intense

Why is it considered socially wrong to make fun of a crying 10-year old boy in Africa?

Because it's normal to undergo a midlife crisis.

Why do most chicken coups have 2 doors?

Because if they had 4 doors, it'd be considered a chicken sedan!

Why did no one ever consider Tony Stark (the Iron Man) a protagonist?

Because he was always cited as the Anthony hero.

What political ideology does Hades consider himself to be apart of?

Plutocracy

Where is the only place engineers are considered artistic?

Brooklyn

Why were the ancient Greeks considered so brave on the battlefield?

They didn't want to leave their brothers behind.

Why is Halloween considered the scariest time of the year?

Most weddings happen in June.

Why shouldn't you lend a anthropologist money?

They consider a million years ago to be Recent.

What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant?

Any place without a drive-up window.

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What's considered an homemade gift in China?

An IPhone.

Why was the chemist not able to get very far in his study of acids?

He was only willing to consider the most basic of solutions.

Why is Rene Descartes considered a thinker?

Because he is.

Why was William considered a enemy?

Because, His last name was Dafoe

Why do we keep putting criminals behind bars?

Putting criminals behind bars seems like a bad idea once you consider all the alcohol they're now next to

Why wasn't the man considered attractive?

The laws of gravity didn't apply to him.

Who do you think the scariest POTUS was?

I'd have to say Rushmore, considering he had four heads.

What does a man consider to be a seven course meal?

A hot dog and a six pack.

Why was King Tutenkhamen considered the best pharaoh in all of Egypt?

Because he always showed up in cuneiform.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman?

The first is a super hero, the second is a simple command.

What's the difference between America any yogurt?

If you leave yogurt alone for 300 years, it develops a culture.

German Jokes More German Jokes

What do you call a German grocery store that carries everything but fish?

Not Sea Food.

What do you call a German singalong?

Follow the lieder!

Shirt Jokes More Shirt Jokes

What's the difference between a wealthy man wearing a tux and riding a bike and a hobo in torn jeans and shirt riding a unicycle?

Attire.

What do you call a shirt you hate?

Cloathed*

Lay Jokes More Lay Jokes

What did the chicken say after laying an egg?

Oeuf!

What's the difference between an egg and Elliot Rodger?

An egg gets laid before it cracks.

Dj Jokes More Dj Jokes

Why did the DJ have such small hands?

Wee paws for station identification.

What did the carrot say to the DJ?

Lettuce Turnip The Beet

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the mother cat pick up her kittens?

She didn't want to litter

Why did the vampire sit on a pumpkin?

It wanted to play squash.

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What's upside down and downside up at the same time?

A kid with cerebral palsy living in Australia

What were ACDC called when they were kids?

ABCD

Type Jokes More Type Jokes

What type of shoes do ninjas wear?

Sneakers

What's the difference between a Dutch oven and a German one?

The type of gas used.