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What's the rule for Twitter crushes?

So far I'm in love with 800 women, 2 dudes, and a llama. Send condoms.

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2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

Why does VALVE end with 2?

Because they can't count to

Which 2 Birthdays go by the quickest?

The twenty second ones and the thirty second ones

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

How do you know ancient Egyptians loved books so much?

Because they built their stuff with reads!

Who does a ghoul fall in love with?

His ghoul friend.

Twitter Jokes More Twitter Jokes

What is your sin, my child?

Me: Twitter. Padre: Wow, if I had a nickel for every time...

Where're you going?

Me: To dinner with my friends! Mom: Your friends Me: I'm going to use McDonalds' free Wifi to get on twitter...

Condom Jokes More Condom Jokes

When does 1+1=3?

When you don't use a condom.

Why is it prestigious to wear a condom?

It's a members-only jacket.

Send Jokes More Send Jokes

Why did the terrorist cross the road?

To send people to the other side.

What kind of letters would you send to capital cities?

Capital letters.

800 Jokes More 800 Jokes

What is a caffeine addict's excuse for drinking coffee in the evening?

It's 8:00 somewhere!

Why did the spud lover set his alarm for 8:00?

Because he wanted to get a-po-ta-to clock. to make joke more apparent

Rule Jokes More Rule Jokes

What's the first rule here, boys?

Kid:Don't poop your pants M:I was gonna say "have fun" but...OK.

What do you call a country ruled by oppressive Vikings?

Norse Korea

Llama Jokes More Llama Jokes

What did the llama said to the other llama?

Como se llama?

What does one llama say to the other llama before the smoke some weed?

Alpaca bowl!!!