March Madness Sale - 25% Off

What's the rule for Twitter crushes?

So far I'm in love with 800 women, 2 dudes, and a llama. Send condoms.

Previous Random Joke Next
2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

What's a sheep's favourite band?

Ewe 2

How is 2+2=5 like your left foot?

It's not right.

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

Why do people love their smartphones so much?

Because opposites attract. (Told to me by 2 students today, loved it!)

Why does the lead singer of Sublime hate tennis?

Cause love is what I got

Twitter Jokes More Twitter Jokes

What is twitter?

3. Twitter is beautiful. 4. What is life

When asked, 'Are you Twittering?

If I'm looking at my phone I now reply, 'No. I am not Twittering,' in a sort of flat monotone. And tweet.

Condom Jokes More Condom Jokes

Why did the guitarist keep his condoms in his guitar case?

He only needed them after he'd opened it.

Why do Canadians wear tuques?

Because condoms are too brittle at minus 20.

Send Jokes More Send Jokes

What kind of car did J.J. Abrams send to pick up Harrison Ford for the new Star Wars premiere?

A Hyundai.

Why do parents send their toddlers to the army for daycare?

Because they're sending them to the infantry!

800 Jokes More 800 Jokes

What's the rule for Twitter crushes?

So far I'm in love with 800 women, 2 dudes, and a llama. Send condoms.

What is a caffeine addict's excuse for drinking coffee in the evening?

It's 8:00 somewhere!

Rule Jokes More Rule Jokes

What's the first rule here, boys?

Kid:Don't poop your pants M:I was gonna say "have fun" but...OK.

What do you call a country ruled by oppressive Vikings?

Norse Korea

Llama Jokes More Llama Jokes

What did the llama said to the other llama?

Como se llama?

What does one llama say to the other llama before the smoke some weed?

Alpaca bowl!!!