What's the rule for Twitter crushes?

So far I'm in love with 800 women, 2 dudes, and a llama. Send condoms.

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2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

What kind of fish is made of just two atoms?

2 Na

Why did the pervert buy 16.5 pints of salsa?

2 gals 1 cup(http://www.reddit.com/r/Canning/comments/yyhsp/my20triptothelocallatinmarketnetted165/)

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

Why could Luke and Leia never be together?

They went looking for love in Alderaan places.

What's black and loves to destroy Baltimore?

The Pittsburgh Steelers

Twitter Jokes More Twitter Jokes

How is Twitter like Game of Thrones?

There's 140 characters, and they are all terrible.

What do you do at a red light?

Me: "I usually respond to texts and check my Twitter."

Condom Jokes More Condom Jokes

What's worse than finding a hole in your condom?

Finding a condom in your hole!

What's the worst thing a girl can wear to bed?

A condom

Send Jokes More Send Jokes

How did Vikings send secret messages?

By Norse code!

What do Romulans and Vulcans do with their high school drop outs?

Send them to barber school.

800 Jokes More 800 Jokes

Why did the spud lover set his alarm for 8:00?

Because he wanted to get a-po-ta-to clock. to make joke more apparent

What is a caffeine addict's excuse for drinking coffee in the evening?

It's 8:00 somewhere!

Rule Jokes More Rule Jokes

What do you call a country ruled by oppressive Vikings?

Norse Korea

What cake wanted to rule the world?

Attila the Bun.

Llama Jokes More Llama Jokes

What does a llama do when it goes on holidays?

Alpaca ya bags.

What did the llama said to the other llama?

Como se llama?