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What's the rule for Twitter crushes?

So far I'm in love with 800 women, 2 dudes, and a llama. Send condoms.

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2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

Who r they 2 stop u?

Boy: My wife &amp 2 kids.

What are the 3 rings involved in marriage?

1) The engagement ring 2) The wedding ring 3) The suffering

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

What do you call a Parrot that loves maths and hates food?

A polynomeal

What's the difference between love, true love and showing off?

Spit, swallow, gargle.

Twitter Jokes More Twitter Jokes

Why are Twitter jokes not as funny when you read them aloud to a friend?

It's not like they had to be there...

What do you get when you sleep with all 140 characters of twitter?

A rashtag.

Condom Jokes More Condom Jokes

What size box of condoms do you never want to buy?

The family size.

What do a coffin and a condom have in common?

They're both filled with stiffs one's coming one's going.

Send Jokes More Send Jokes

Where do bad pigs go?

They get sent to the pen.

What is the best way to send a letter to the Easter Bunny?

By hare (air) mail.

800 Jokes More 800 Jokes

Why did the spud lover set his alarm for 8:00?

Because he wanted to get a-po-ta-to clock. to make joke more apparent

What is a caffeine addict's excuse for drinking coffee in the evening?

It's 8:00 somewhere!

Rule Jokes More Rule Jokes

What do you call a lawmaker in a society ruled by horses that says one thing but does the opposite?

A hippocratic hypocrite.

What did Caesar say to Cleopatra?

Toga-ether we can rule the world!

Llama Jokes More Llama Jokes

What does Rick and the Llama have in common?

Caaaaarl!!

What did the llama said to the other llama?

Como se llama?