Where's the cake?

Mom of kid: We don't believe in sugar. Me: I promise it's real. I've seen it with my own eyes.

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Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What's the main thing a woman needs to think about when considering a potential boyfriend?

Is this the man I want my kids to spend every second weekend with?

What's the difference between Ice Age 4 and Batman The Dark Knight?

The kids walked out of Ice Age 4... Alive

Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

How do you estimate your kids lifespan?

Hand them a mechanical pencil with the lead out and see how the use it. Child A: look mom I'm a doctor! - expect them to live to 80+ years. Child B: look mom I'm a heroin user! - expect them to live to about 27.

What's the difference between /r/jokes and your mom?

Your mom is funny.

Eye Jokes More Eye Jokes

What's the cleanest country in the world (in the eyes of the Germans?

Nigeria.

How do you know if someone is half texan and half Canadian?

It rhymes when they say. "Keep at eye out for a coyote."

Believe Jokes More Believe Jokes

What's the difference between a skeptic and a conspiracy theorist?

You wouldn't believe me if I told you.

What did one deer say to the other after leaving the bar?

I can't believe you just blew 50 bucks in there

Promise Jokes More Promise Jokes

What happens when Nigel Farage makes a promise?

He brexit.

What do you call someone who promises change but ends up burning millions of undesirables?

Sean Murray and PS4 users

Sugar Jokes More Sugar Jokes

What did Adam do when he wanted some sugar?

He raised Cain.

Where's the cake?

Mom of kid: We don't believe in sugar. Me: I promise it's real. I've seen it with my own eyes.

Cake Jokes More Cake Jokes

Who's there! Bacon! Bacon who?

Bacon a cake for your birthday!

What do you call someone who makes cakes in San Francisco?

A BAYYYYker