What is it good for?

Some people say "nothing", but my stock portfolio's looking promising.

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Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What did David Crockett say when he looked over the Alamo wall and saw 3000 Mexicans?

Hey I didn't know we were pouring concrete today.

Why are dyslexic zombies such good plumbers?

Because they're always looking for drains.

People Jokes More People Jokes

What kind of people are always in a damn hurry?

Russians

What do New York McDonald's employees and people who read Ulysses have in common?

Liberal Arts Degrees.

Promise Jokes More Promise Jokes

Where's the cake?

Mom of kid: We don't believe in sugar. Me: I promise it's real. I've seen it with my own eyes.

How many Bill Clintons does it take to change a lightbulb?

None--He'll only promise "change."