Promise Jokes

What do you call someone who promises change but ends up burning millions of undesirables?

Sean Murray and PS4 users

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

What do you call a promise you can't keep?

A campaign promise.

Why was Wycleff Jean on L&O this week?

He only promised to be gone until November

What is it good for?

Some people say "nothing", but my stock portfolio's looking promising.

What did the CN tower say to the clouds???

Only the tip baby, I promise!

Why is a reflection always twice as good as the real thing?

I actually don't know where to post this idea, true jokes maybe?... There has to be a food for thought sub. This is your OP, I promise to deliver!

What happens when Nigel Farage makes a promise?

He brexit.

Where's the cake?

Mom of kid: We don't believe in sugar. Me: I promise it's real. I've seen it with my own eyes.

How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more guys I promise.

Where's the election victory that you promised me?

Satan: Where's the soul that you said you had

What did the Production Manager give his kids for Christmas?

Nothing. But he promised he'd make it up to them on the next one.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

Why did a pregnant lady walk into Jimmy Johns?

They promised freaky fast delivery

What do you call a black guy who reneges on a promise?

Unreliable, you racist prick.

How many Bill Clintons does it take to change a lightbulb?

None--He'll only promise "change."

You might also enjoy:

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happened!?

The American responds, "Ei ffel".

What happens to eskimos who sit on the ice too long?

Polaroids! I'm so bored...

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Which dinosaur knew... Q: Which dinosaur knew the most words?

The thesaurus.

What do children think of the world?

I don't know, this is the first time I've logged onto Reddit, today.

Cloud Jokes More Cloud Jokes

What's the difference between Mic Jagger and a Scotsman?

Mic Jagger says "Hey you, get off of my cloud". A Scotsman says "Hey, McLeod! Get off of my ewe!"

What do you call a sheep with no legs?

A cloud.

Million Jokes More Million Jokes

How do you stop millions of children from going to bed hungry every night?

Take away their beds...

What has a million legs but can't walk?

Jerry's Kids.

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many people on a beach does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Depends on how many survivors there are. too soon.

How many economists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I don't know. They just keep going on and on about how the last one broke.

Real Thing Jokes More Real Thing Jokes

What's the difference between a picture of Jesus and the real thing?

The picture of Jesus only takes one nail to hang up.

When Does This White Privilege Thing Kick In?

Do I have to ask them to resend the authentication email, update my address or do I have to go to my local white privilege depot to request the trial edition of white privilege before I get the real thing?

Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

Why did Hellen Kellar burn her ear?

The phone rang and she answered the iron. Why did she burn her other ear They called back.

How can I ever repay you?

Favstar in the bio "Oh I don't have Twi-" *returns baby to burning building*

Cake Jokes More Cake Jokes

What did John Lennon say when he got egg shells in his cake?

Yolko Oh-no

How easy is it to get stoned in Amsterdam?

It's a piece of cake.