Engagement Ring Jokes

What are the three rings of marriage?

The first one is the engagement ring...the second one is the wedding ring...and the third one is the suffering.

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Where do Chicago football fans buy engagement rings?

De Beers

Why are promise rings 1/10th the price of engagement rings?

They only work 10% of the time.

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What's the difference between Santa and a pimp?

Santa has just 3 Ho's...

Why do 2 bit gamblers never win at blackjack?

Because they can only count to 3.

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Who was the dankest dictator of all time?

LMao Zedong

What do you call a God unfit for the times at hand?

O Cristor Redundant

Suffer Jokes More Suffer Jokes

Why does the addict avoid going to the bank?

Because he suffers from cash withdrawals.

What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?

Claustrophobia!

Involve Jokes More Involve Jokes

Why don't lawyers enjoy playing golf?

Because it's too much like work what with all of the lying involved.

What involves a man and two women, and doesn't even last a minute?

A Ronda Rousey fight.

Second Jokes More Second Jokes

What is Josh Duggar's second favorite dating website after Ashley-Madison?

Ancestry.com

Which bug does amazing motor cycle stunts?

Second Caribou: Evel Boll Weevil.

Chicago Jokes More Chicago Jokes

What does a Chicago police officer and a professional skateboarder have in common?

They both shred footage. (*be gentle, it's my first time.*)

What do you call an international diamond monopoly turned Chicago football team?

Da Beers

Wedding Ring Jokes More Wedding Ring Jokes

What are the 3 rings involved in marriage?

1) The engagement ring 2) The wedding ring 3) The suffering

What do you get if you cross a telephone and a marriage bureau?

A wedding ring!

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

Why is it so cheap to buy 12 rhombuses?

Because they're a diamond dozen

Where do you buy a Walrus?

WalMart!