State Jokes

Which state has the worst carbonated drinks?

Menace-Soda.

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Why are we seeing the creepy clowns all over the country?

Being in many states and seen on all types of media is how they run for president.

Where were you born?

Me: Missouri. I: What state are you in now? M: Apathy. I: That's not what I meant. M: I don't care.

Why does Missouri share borders with the most amount of States?

Because Missouri loves company

What state has the smallest soft drinks?

Minisoda

Why did the oak tree get his girlfriend pregnant?

Because the state abolished plant parenthood

What do cannibals put in their soup?

Ramen! Before you judge harshly, I would like to state that this was invented by a six year old, all on his own, no coaching.

Which state has the most progressive bathroom laws?

Transylvania.

What state is the highest on every top 50 list?

Colorado.

Which state is actually a tiny soft drink?

Mini-soda.

Which is the most courteous State in the US?

Conetiquette

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What do you call the state of having confidence?

I'm sorry, it's confidential.

What state has the best small sized soft drink?

Minisoda

Which state smells the worst?

The Prostate

What do The Walking Dead and the state of Wisconsin have in common?

They both have a hated governor.

What happens when the president of the United States has to use the bathroom?

The state of alert in the White House rises to Defecate 2.

What US State has the smallest soft drinks?

Mini-Soda (Minnesota) Such a bad joke...

Which US state is friendliest toward the Japanese?

Ohio

What state makes exclusively Swiss cheese?

Swisconsin.

What US state has the most cows?

Moosouri!

What do you call a man that states the obvious?

A man that states the obvious

$Your Age Is Only Math$

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What do Ohio and Mackerels have in common?

Nothing! Ohio is the only state in the United States that's name shares no letters with the word mackerel.

What is the best definition of irony?

Irony irne/ noun a state of affairs or an event that seems deliberately contrary to what one expects and is often amusing as a result.

What are the four most common types of states of matter?

Solid, gas, liquid and Black Lives.

Which is the favorite US State of Miley Cyrus?

Montana.

Why was Jesus not born in West Virginia?

Because they couldn't find three wise men or a virgin. Gf sent me this when she was driving through the state.

Which state?

Me: Alaska. Her: Cool, when she tells you, tell me.

Which states is Bernie most popular in?

Denmark, Sweden and Norway.

What US state has a lot of dirty laundry?

Washington

Which state has the smallest sodas?

Minesoda

Which state serves the smallest soft drinks?

Minnesota.

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Why do the Kurds have no state of their own?

They didn't get their whey.

Which state does the most laundry?

Washington.

What state do most people live in?

Denial. Myself included.

When they named the state of New Mexico were they degrading the state or honoring Mexico?

It seemed funnier when I first said it. is this how it always happens

What state did the programmer start her road trip in?

Maine

Which US state is the friendliest towards the Japanese?

Ohio

How many states of matter are there?

5: solids, liquids, gases, plasma, and black lives

What do you call a state named after highways?

Road Island.

What state has the smallest sodas?

Minisoda

Which US state has the smallest soft drinks?

Minisoda

What two states are opposites?

Maryland and Misury

What other US state can fit Kansas inside of it?

Arkansas

What State do you go to to ask questions?

Al-ask-ya

What state has the highest cell phone bills?

Text-us

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President Jokes More President Jokes

Why do you want to run for President?

Because walking wouldn't burn enough calories.

How did the puppeteer meet the President?

He pulled some strings.

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?

Cliff.

How can you tell if a shark has dandruff?

He left his head and shoulders on the beach.

Washington Jokes More Washington Jokes

Why do The Walking Dead survivors try to get to washington D.C.?

Because it's their Michonne.

Where is the best place to buy computer software?

Washington C.D

Mackerel Jokes More Mackerel Jokes

What do Ohio and Mackerels have in common?

Nothing! Ohio is the only state in the United States that's name shares no letters with the word mackerel.

Rise Jokes More Rise Jokes

Why does your sister have yeast and shoe Polish for breakfast?

Because she wants to rise and shine.

Why does Bane and a monk get along well in the morning?

Because the friar rises!

Laundry Jokes More Laundry Jokes

How Does Snoop Dogg Do His Laundry?

He uses a lot of BLEAYOTCH!

What should you do when your epileptic child starts seizing in the bathtub?

Throw in your laundry!

Wash Jokes More Wash Jokes

What does Batman use to wash his hair?

Conditioner Gordon.

What does a frog say when it washes car windows?

Rub it rub it rub it.

Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

What did the Mexican boy say to his mom after he mopped the floors and found his brother?

I've cleaned up and found Jesus.

How long have you had this problem?

The doctor asked. "Lest's see" said the patient "Mom had the litter in '41