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What time does a mechanic wake up?

Oily!

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Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What time was it when Jared got fired?

When the big hand touched the little hand

What do you get if you steamroll a crab and a Korean at the same time?

A crustacean

Wake Jokes More Wake Jokes

What did the overweight woman say to Buffalo Bill when she woke up?

I can't feel my face when I'm with you...

What's the hardest part about being a vegan?

Waking up at 5 am to milk the almonds.

Mechanic Jokes More Mechanic Jokes

How do you know when a mechanic has a girlfriend?

He has one clean finger.

What's the difference between a bad mechanic and a politician?

With the mechanic, there's a shot something might get fixed...