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How can you tell if a mechanic went home for lunch?

One of his fingers is clean

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Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you give a solipsist an existential crisis?

You tell me.

What did I tell you about telling the truth?

5-year-old: It's only for people who don't have lawyers.

Finger Jokes More Finger Jokes

Why is marriage like thin toilet paper?

Because you end up with a ring on your finger.

What is a proctologist's drink of choice?

Two fingers of whiskey.

Lunch Jokes More Lunch Jokes

Where does Fonzie like to go for lunch?

Chick-Fil-Eyyyyyyyy.

What is that you're having for lunch?

Me: fruit salad H: That's funny, it looks like a sangria. Me: huh, weird *sips fruit salad*

Mechanic Jokes More Mechanic Jokes

What does a mechanic do for a one night stand?

He nuts and bolts.

How can you tell a mechanic has gotten lucky?

He's got one clean finger!