What has four fingers and a thumb but is not alive?

A glove.) First response: "My Aunt Lydia."

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Finger Jokes More Finger Jokes

What is WRONG with you?

Me: *slowly counting on fingers* let's see... ok... carry the 1... um... That would be everything

Why do bald guys cut holes in their pockets?

So they can run their fingers through their hair.

Glove Jokes More Glove Jokes

What makes an ideal present for a monster?

Five pairs of gloves one for each hand.

What did the little boy with no hands get for Christmas?

Gloves. Just kidding, he hasn't opened them yet.

Response Jokes More Response Jokes

Why are you being so salty?

Her response - with a flat, even look: "I've been well seasoned." I lost it

What did the sophisticated cow say in response to another cow's joke?

That was very amoosing

Thumb Jokes More Thumb Jokes

Who has one thumb and isn't allowed to use the table saw anymore?

This guy.

Why do you have your thumb on my steak?

So I don't drop it again, Sir.