Who has one thumb and survived a band saw accident?

This guy!!!

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Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

What does a guy who can predict the lottery numbers 99% of the time have in common with the letters C, D, G, H, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z?

They're not infallible

How often do you guys close your internet tabs?

One of mine is from the Kerry/Edwards campaign.

Survive Jokes More Survive Jokes

What do you call a soldier who survives Mustard gas and pepper spray?

A seasoned veteran.

Who survived?

The pilot who jumped out with a parachute.

Thumb Jokes More Thumb Jokes

Who has one thumb and survived a band saw accident?

This guy!!!

Who has two thumbs and looks an awful lot like Alec Baldwin?

Alec Baldwin