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Who has one thumb and isn't allowed to use the table saw anymore?

This guy.

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

How can you tell if someone uses Apple products?

Just wait and they'll tell you.

How can you tell Voldemort used the bathroom before you?

He leaves a dark mark

Allow Jokes More Allow Jokes

Why were some people not allowed in to the Poet College?

Because they were bard.

Why do hockey players always make terrible birthday cakes?

Because icing is not allowed.

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

How would you like to make a donation to our local orphanage?

Dad: yea sure yells up to me son, you live with this guy now!

What do you call a girl who expects a guy to do everything for her, make all the first moves, and text her first every day?

SINGLE

Table Jokes More Table Jokes

Why was the egg laughing when it fell off the table?

Because it cracked itself up.

3 SQL statements walk into a NoSQL bar. Soon, they walk out

They couldn't find a table.

Thumb Jokes More Thumb Jokes

What should we call the big finger?

Thumb' seems as good as any." "Impressive. What about this smallest one " "PINKY!" "............."

Who has one thumb and survived a band saw accident?

This guy!!!