Why are you always tired, Dad?

My 3-year-old asked as she woke me from a nap by poking me in the eye.

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Dad Jokes More Dad Jokes

What does A&ampW stand for?

Amburgers &amp Woot Beer! Edit: Thanks to my dad for this one.

Why'd you name me Carson, dad?

You were born in a car. Now go fetch your sister, Hospitaldaughter. It's time for tablemeal.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What did the depressed, illiterate pepperoni slice say when asked where he was with his life?

Well it pizza heck out of me.

How many mosquitoes does it take to screw in a light bulb?

2...and don't ask me how they got in there. (My 87 year old grandma just told me this one)

Wake Jokes More Wake Jokes

What is Italian-American foreplay?

Hey! Wake up and roll over!

Why did the blonde tip toe near the medicine cabinet?

Because she didn't want to wake the sleeping pills!

3 Year Old Jokes More 3 Year Old Jokes

When I was 3 years old I looked at my nutsack and asked my Mom "Are these my brains?

Not yet," she replied

Why did the 3 year old go to jail?

For resisting a rest.

Eye Jokes More Eye Jokes

What did the Chinese billionaire say after buying the deer with no eyes?

I have no Idea.

Why can you never get caught with a 0 in math?

Because cot(0) doesn't exist... This joke... it burns my eyes...

Poke Jokes More Poke Jokes

How do you wake a sleeping Lady Gaga?

You poke poke poker face

How do you get a Charmander and a Metapod on a train?

You poke 'em on.

Nap Jokes More Nap Jokes

Why are you always tired, Dad?

My 3-year-old asked as she woke me from a nap by poking me in the eye.

Why do people go to the gym again?

Do they not know what a nap is