3 Year Old Jokes

What colour is eight?

Purple (According to my 3 year old son)

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Why did the 3 year old go to jail?

For resisting a rest.

Why are you always tired, Dad?

My 3-year-old asked as she woke me from a nap by poking me in the eye.

What sound do dogs make?

3-year-old: Woof woof. Me: Horses 3: Neigh. Me: Pigs 3: Sizzle sizzle. Somebody understands bacon.

When I was 3 years old I looked at my nutsack and asked my Mom "Are these my brains?

Not yet," she replied

What does that cloud look like to you?

3-year-old: A cloud. Me: No, what do you imagine it could be 3-year-old: Rain.

Why does the house only have one window?

Cheeseburger (joke from my 3 year old neice this evening)

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Eat Jokes More Eat Jokes

Why did Microsoft skip from Windows 8 to 10?

Because Windows 7 ate 9!!!

How did the dinosaur feel after he ate a pillow?

Down in the mouth!

Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

What do your mom and Jesus have in common?

They both got nailed

What's the difference between your mom and a washing machine?

If I dump a load in a washing machine it doesn't follow me around for the next few weeks.

3 Jokes More 3 Jokes

What's the difference between Santa Clause and Tiger Woods?

Santa stops at 3 ho's.

Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs?

The cow has the udder.

Phew Jokes More Phew Jokes

How many skunks do you need to make a house really smelly?

Just a phew!

What is the feeling that you've smelled a certain skunk before?

Deja phew!

Evening Jokes More Evening Jokes

What does Mrs Dracula say to Mr Dracula when he leaves for work in the evening?

Have a nice bite!

What is the cat's favourite TV show?

The evening mews!

Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic, and a dyslexic?

Somebody who stays up all night torturing himself mentally over the question whether or not theres a dog.

How do you find your dog if he's lost in the woods?

Put your ear up to a tree and listen for the bark!

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why did Spock dump his wife?

Because William Shatner I know it's old, but I love it so

Why did you leave us so early?

He is asked why are you so crying Do you cry about your close relative -No, I am crying about the first husband of my wife.

Pig Jokes More Pig Jokes

Why do pigs run from medicine?

They hate getting cured.

What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?

A teddy boar!