What sound do dogs make?

3-year-old: Woof woof. Me: Horses 3: Neigh. Me: Pigs 3: Sizzle sizzle. Somebody understands bacon.

Previous Random Joke Next
Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

What is the burning question on the mind of every dyslexic existentialist?

Is there a dog?

What kind of dog should you get a spanish speaker?

A spaniel.

Horse Jokes More Horse Jokes

Why did the horse stir his cereal with his hoof?

Because he wanted to feel his oats!

Why did the Polish government have to finally ban water-polo throughout the country?

Too many horses were drowning.

3 Jokes More 3 Jokes

What is amnesia?

Is it: A) memory loss A) memory loss Or 3) The Battle of Hastings

How many 210 lb policemen does it take to throw a 140 lb suspect down 3 flights of stairs?

None, he fell.

3 Year Old Jokes More 3 Year Old Jokes

Why did the 3 year old go to jail?

For resisting a rest.

Why are you always tired, Dad?

My 3-year-old asked as she woke me from a nap by poking me in the eye.

Understand Jokes More Understand Jokes

Why use words you don't understand in your tweets?

It just makes you look photosynthesis.

How do you understand women?

I really just want to know.

Sound Jokes More Sound Jokes

What's small, orange and sounds like a parrot?

An oompa loompa with a sore throat.

What sounds like a joke, but isn't funny?

An anti-joke.

Somebody Jokes More Somebody Jokes

How do you tell if somebody doesn't have a smartphone?

Just wait, they'll tell you.

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic, and a dyslexic?

Somebody who stays up all night torturing himself mentally over the question whether or not theres a dog.

Pig Jokes More Pig Jokes

What do you call a pig with no clothes on?

Streaky bacon!

What do you get when you cross a pig with a billy goat?

A crashing bore.

Bacon Jokes More Bacon Jokes

What's green, slimy and smells like bacon?

Kermit the frogs finger (shoutout to Hesher)

How many narwhals does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Bacon

Neigh Jokes More Neigh Jokes

What do you call a horse that lives next to you?

A Neigh-bor. Sorry for my horrible dad joke.

What does the horse call the pigs on his farm?

Neigh-boars.