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What do you call somebody who is allergic to wearing little alligators on their polo shirt?

Lacoste intolerant.

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Why do Canadians wear tuques?

Because condoms are too brittle at minus 20.

Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants?

In case they get a hole in one!

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How many redditors does it take to screw in a new lightbulb?

Zero. Somebody already did it.

How many cuckolds does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. Somebody else does the screwing for 'em.