Bacon Jokes

Why did the pig go into the kitchen?

Because he felt like BACON!

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What is less Kosher than a bacon wrapped shrimp?

A communion wafer

What did the bacon say to the sandwich?

This club can't even handle me right now

Why is it impossible to say no to French fries with cheese and bacon?

Because it's a loaded question!

What's long, green, and smells like bacon?

Kermit's finger

What did one sunbathing pig say to another?

I'm bacon.

What is green and smells like bacon?

Kermit's fingers

Why did the butcher get fired?

For bringing home the bacon.

How do you stop your bacon from curling in the pan?

Take their little stones and brooms away!

What do you call bacon wrapped frog legs?

The Muppets

What's green, slimy, and smells like bacon?

Kermit the Frog's fingers.

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What's green, slimy and smells like bacon?

Kermit the frogs finger (shoutout to Hesher)

What is long, green, and smells like bacon?

Kermit the Frog's fingers.

What did the Bacon say to the Tomato?

What did Bacon say to Tomato? "Lettuce get together"

What is green and slimy and smells like bacon?

Kermit the Frog's finger...

What did the pig say on a hot summer day?

I'm bacon!

Why did the pig walk into the kitchen?

Because he felt like bacon.

How do you keep bacon from curling in the pan?

You take away its tiny brooms.

Why did the bacon laugh?

Because the egg cracked a yolk.

Whats green, three inches long and smells like bacon?

Kermit the frogs middle finger.

What was the pig doing in the kitchen?

Bacon! Get it?

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What's long, green and smells like bacon?

Kermit the Frog's finger.

What is Green, Slimy, and smells like Bacon?

Kermit's finger.

How many narwhals does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Bacon

What is small furry and smells like bacon?

A hamster!

How do you stop bacon from curling in the pan?

Take away their little brooms!

What kind of tree smells like bacon?

Original) A Porcupine!

What will you have, Sir?

Bacon my day, sonny!" Sorry/notsorry - it's how my mind works

Who's there! Bacon! Bacon who?

Bacon a cake for your birthday!

What do you get when you cross a pig and a spider?

Bacon and scrambled leggs.

What would happen if pigs could fly?

Bacon would go up!

What's slimy, green, and smells like bacon?

Kermits finger.

Why did the pig go in the kitchen?

To start some bacon

What did Bacon say to Tomato?

Lettuce get together!

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Shoutout Jokes More Shoutout Jokes

What has eight arms and tells the time?

A clocktopus Shoutout to the popper from my Xmas dinner

Why did the rapper scream into his Easter basket?

He wanted to give a shoutout to his peeps

Muppet Jokes More Muppet Jokes

What do you get when you cross a muppet with the Loch Ness Monster?

Messie.

Who's the most self-centered Muppet?

Beaker. All he says is "Me Me Me."

Shrimp Jokes More Shrimp Jokes

Why didn't the shrimp share his treasure?

He was a little shellfish.

Why did the marriage between the crab and the shrimp end in a divorce?

Because they were both too Shellfish.

Curl Jokes More Curl Jokes

What do you call a foot doctor, curled up in a ball on the floor?

A pedal physician in the fetal position.

How do you keep bacon from curling in the pan?

You take away its tiny brooms.

Beer Jokes More Beer Jokes

What is the difference between an Irish drinking song and a Country drinking song?

You don't cry in your beer when the Irish song is playing.

What's the difference between a violin and a fiddle?

You can spill your beer on a fiddle.

Broom Jokes More Broom Jokes

What did the young witch say to her mother?

Can I have the keys to the broom tonight!

What noise does a witch make when she's flyin around?

BROOM BROOM BROOOOOOOM

French Jokes More French Jokes

What's an Australian Kiss?

It's like a French kiss, but down under.

How does French cheese expire?

From age

Smell Jokes More Smell Jokes

What tastes good but doesn't smell good?

A tongue.

What do you get if you cross a tarantula with a rose?

I'm not sure but I wouldn't try smelling it!