Bacon Jokes

Why did the pig go into the kitchen?

Because he felt like BACON!

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What is less Kosher than a bacon wrapped shrimp?

A communion wafer

What did the bacon say to the sandwich?

This club can't even handle me right now

How do Jamaicans pronounce bacon?

The same way British people pronounce beer can.

Why is it impossible to say no to French fries with cheese and bacon?

Because it's a loaded question!

What's long, green, and smells like bacon?

Kermit's finger

What's green and smells like bacon?

Kermit the Frog's fingers.

What did one sunbathing pig say to another?

I'm bacon.

What is green and smells like bacon?

Kermit's fingers

Why did the butcher get fired?

For bringing home the bacon.

How do you stop your bacon from curling in the pan?

Take their little stones and brooms away!

$Your Age Is Only Math$

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What do you call bacon wrapped frog legs?

The Muppets

What's green, slimy, and smells like bacon?

Kermit the Frog's fingers.

What's green, slimy and smells like bacon?

Kermit the frogs finger (shoutout to Hesher)

Why doesn't god like bacon?

Because he isn't real.

What do Kermit the Frog'S fingers smell like?

Bacon.

What is long, green, and smells like bacon?

Kermit the Frog's fingers.

What did the Bacon say to the Tomato?

What did Bacon say to Tomato? "Lettuce get together"

What is green and slimy and smells like bacon?

Kermit the Frog's finger...

What did the pig say on a hot summer day?

I'm bacon!

Why did the pig walk into the kitchen?

Because he felt like bacon.

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How do you keep bacon from curling in the pan?

You take away its tiny brooms.

Why did the bacon laugh?

Because the egg cracked a yolk.

Whats green, three inches long and smells like bacon?

Kermit the frogs middle finger.

What was the pig doing in the kitchen?

Bacon! Get it?

What's long, green and smells like bacon?

Kermit the Frog's finger.

What is Green, Slimy, and smells like Bacon?

Kermit's finger.

How many narwhals does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Bacon

What is small furry and smells like bacon?

A hamster!

What do you call a policeman on fire?

Bacon.

How do you stop bacon from curling in the pan?

Take away their little brooms!

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What sound do dogs make?

3-year-old: Woof woof. Me: Horses 3: Neigh. Me: Pigs 3: Sizzle sizzle. Somebody understands bacon.

What kind of tree smells like bacon?

Original) A Porcupine!

What will you have, Sir?

Bacon my day, sonny!" Sorry/notsorry - it's how my mind works

Where are the groceries?

ME: Bacon was on sale. WIFE: Oh god, what does that mean *sound of dump truck backing into driveway*

Who's there! Bacon! Bacon who?

Bacon a cake for your birthday!

What do you get when you cross a pig and a spider?

Bacon and scrambled leggs.

What would happen if pigs could fly?

Bacon would go up!

What's slimy, green, and smells like bacon?

Kermits finger.

Why did the pig go in the kitchen?

To start some bacon

What do you want for breakfast?

Kids: EGGS! BACON! WAFFLES! CHOCOLATE CHIP PANCAKES! Me: Let me rephrase. Who wants toast

What did Bacon say to Tomato?

Lettuce get together!

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Club Jokes More Club Jokes

How are you baby?

I am in bed and thinking about you... And you my dear - I am at a club... And sitting right behind you!!

What did the DJ order from the deli?

A club sandwich with extra beets.

Curl Jokes More Curl Jokes

Why did the football coach call his quarterback a hairdresser?

Because he missed a split-end on a curl.

How do you keep Canadian bacon from curling in the pan?

Take away its brooms.

Birthday Jokes More Birthday Jokes

What do you always get on your birthday?

Another year older!birt

What did the Pirate say on his birthday?

Ayy Matey

Jamaican Jokes More Jamaican Jokes

What kind of cuisine did the rude Jamaican serve?

Caribbean Jerk. Ayyyyy!

What do you call a Jamaican teacher at Hogwarts?

De mentor.

Cake Jokes More Cake Jokes

What did John Lennon say when he got egg shells in his cake?

Yolko Oh-no

Why was the cake lonely?

Because he was deserted by his friends

Frog Finger Jokes More Frog Finger Jokes

What's long, green and smells like bacon?

Kermit the Frog's finger.

What's long, green, slimy and smells like pork?

Kermit the Frog's finger

British Jokes More British Jokes

What does a member of the British Royal Family say when they are reaching climax?

I"m arriving, I'm arriving."

What did Mrs Revere say when Paul got on a gorilla to warn the farmers that the British were coming?

Paul stop monkeying around!

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

What do you do if your bank account stops working?

Throw the guy out of the house.

Why did the Rabbi stop buying beer?

Hebrewed his own