March Madness Sale - 25% Off

Where are the groceries?

ME: Bacon was on sale. WIFE: Oh god, what does that mean *sound of dump truck backing into driveway*

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What about our child?

Wife: What What child Husband: So you are not pregnant

Why is a good husband like bread dough?

Because his wife needs him.

Driveway Jokes More Driveway Jokes

What do you call a rainbow of Jeeps in the driveway?

Roy Jeep Biv

When is a car, not a car?

When it turns into a driveway.

Sound Jokes More Sound Jokes

What sound does a doorbell make in China?

Ping pong.

What's the sound of a water truck hitting a vinegar truck?

KAAA DOOOUUCHE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

What does amnesia mean?

Someone told me but I forgot.

What does it mean when a pedestrian has the right of way?

When you see a pedestrian, youve got to get them, right away

Grocery Jokes More Grocery Jokes

Where do farm animals get their groceries?

The pharmacy.

What do you call a horse who likes to carry all the groceries?

A one trip pony

Bacon Jokes More Bacon Jokes

What did Bacon say to Tomato?

Lettuce get together!

What did one sunbathing pig say to another?

I'm bacon.

Sale Jokes More Sale Jokes

How much for the best friend?

Manager: Sir, we've been through this, our cashiers aren't for sale.

Why does Barbie hate Amazon?

Because they're always putting sales out on ken-dolls.