Where are the groceries?

ME: Bacon was on sale. WIFE: Oh god, what does that mean *sound of dump truck backing into driveway*

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What did Anakin Skywalker cry out as he lay dying and on fire?

Patme! Patme! Credit to my wife on this one

What Did The Dying Gambler Say To His Wife?

10 bucks says I don't need this oxygen tank

Driveway Jokes More Driveway Jokes

What's the worst part of giving a magician a ride home?

When you get there, you turn into the driveway. Ba-dum-bum! Don't forget to tip your waitress!

How do you keep the Kansas City Chiefs away from your house?

Paint a goal line on your driveway.

Sound Jokes More Sound Jokes

How do you spell no?

Me: Sound it out. What makes the na na na na na na na na na sound 4: Batman (Spelling is hard)

What sound does and alcohlic train make?

Chug chug chug chug chug chug...

Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

What does "IDK" mean?

I keep asking people, but they don't know either.

What does it mean when an accountant is drooling out of both sides of his mouth?

His desk is level

Grocery Jokes More Grocery Jokes

Where do safari animals buy their groceries?

From the supermeerkat

Where does the military commander buy his groceries?

The GENERAL STORE HAHAHAHAHAHA IM SO SORRY

Bacon Jokes More Bacon Jokes

What do you call bacon wrapped frog legs?

The Muppets

What's green, slimy, and smells like bacon?

Kermit the Frog's fingers.

Sale Jokes More Sale Jokes

How much for the best friend?

Manager: Sir, we've been through this, our cashiers aren't for sale.

What did one stegosaurus say to the other stegosaurus?

There's a sale on at the fern store!