Where are the groceries?

ME: Bacon was on sale. WIFE: Oh god, what does that mean *sound of dump truck backing into driveway*

Previous Random Joke Next
Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

How the fight started Wife: Going for a walk, do you want anything?

Me: How about a newspaper. Wife: OK, which one Me: Today's.

How about a quickie?

Wife: As opposed to what

Driveway Jokes More Driveway Jokes

Why is there a broom in the driveway?

Me: So your mom doesn't have to borrow the car

How many black people does it to pave a driveway?

One. You just have to spread him real thin.

Sound Jokes More Sound Jokes

What do you call the sound a ghost makes when he calls you?

A phone moan.

What do you call a midget in a Mental Asylum?

I don't really know, but it sounds a little crazy

Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

What does that mean?

More kids tripping in lab coats

How much is half of 8 Pupil: Up and down or across?

Teacher: What do you mean Pupil: Wellup and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0

Grocery Jokes More Grocery Jokes

Where do farm animals get their groceries?

The pharmacy.

What do you call a horse who likes to carry all the groceries?

A one trip pony

Bacon Jokes More Bacon Jokes

What was the pig doing in the kitchen?

Bacon! Get it?

What's long, green and smells like bacon?

Kermit the Frog's finger.

Sale Jokes More Sale Jokes

What do you call the upper eighth of a lime for sale?

A top-of-the-lime model.

Why was the Mercedes Benz on sales?

Because they've removed 6 rows of yellow LED strips...