Grocery Jokes

Where do farm animals get their groceries?

The pharmacy.

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Where do crows go to buy groceries?

Kroger

How does a ninja shop for groceries?

No one knows.

Why is Hannibal so rich?

Well, he save on groceries.

Where does the CIA buy its groceries?

Whole Foods

Where is Benedict Arnold's favorite place to shop for groceries?

Traitor Joe's

Where do dogs shop for groceries?

Wagmans.

What do you call a horse who likes to carry all the groceries?

A one trip pony

Where does the military commander buy his groceries?

The GENERAL STORE HAHAHAHAHAHA IM SO SORRY

Where do safari animals buy their groceries?

From the supermeerkat

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Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

Why couldn't the glue hold the walls together?

Because it wasn't ceiling.

What has 108 teeth and holds back the incredible Hulk?

My Zipper.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?

The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

Why did cavemen drag their women around by the hair?

Because if they dragged them by the ankles, they'd fill up with muck.

Hunger Jokes More Hunger Jokes

When does a hunger strike stop?

When hunger strikes.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

Why does your face look like a donut?

Me 30 minutes into dieting

What did the amputee say to his mom when he learned to ride a bike?

Look ma, no hands!

Grocery Bag Jokes More Grocery Bag Jokes

What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?

One is white, plastic, and dangerous for your kids to play with and the other holds your groceries

American Jokes More American Jokes

What do you call someone who knows one?

American.

What is one thing that both Australians &amp Americans share the same view on?

1961

Grocery Store Jokes More Grocery Store Jokes

Why do grocery stores double-bag everything?

Like why don't you just make bags that are twice as strong

How much is the rent for this amazing apartment?

Ma'am, this is the wine aisle of the grocery store.

Carry Jokes More Carry Jokes

Why do businessmen carry umbrellas?

Because umbrellas can't walk.

Why did the number of parking tickets spike after Persephone was carried off to the underworld?

Because Demeter stopped working.