Grocery Jokes

What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a paper bag?

One is made of plastic and is very dangerous for little kids to play with. The other carries groceries.

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Where do farm animals get their groceries?

The pharmacy.

Where do crows go to buy groceries?

Kroger

How does a ninja shop for groceries?

No one knows.

Why is Hannibal so rich?

Well, he save on groceries.

Where does the CIA buy its groceries?

Whole Foods

Where is Benedict Arnold's favorite place to shop for groceries?

Traitor Joe's

Where do dogs shop for groceries?

Wagmans.

Where do people in Detroit get their groceries?

They don't.

What do you call a horse who likes to carry all the groceries?

A one trip pony

Where are the groceries?

ME: Bacon was on sale. WIFE: Oh god, what does that mean *sound of dump truck backing into driveway*

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Where does the military commander buy his groceries?

The GENERAL STORE HAHAHAHAHAHA IM SO SORRY

Where do safari animals buy their groceries?

From the supermeerkat

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Pharmacy Jokes More Pharmacy Jokes

Why did the monkey cross the road?

To loot the pharmacy on the other side

Why should you be quiet in a pharmacy?

In case you wake the sleeping pills!

Hunger Jokes More Hunger Jokes

When does a hunger strike stop?

When hunger strikes.

What can hunger do that a woman simply can't?

Drive me to the grocery store.

Paper Bag Jokes More Paper Bag Jokes

What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a paper bag?

One is made of plastic and is very dangerous for little kids to play with. The other carries groceries.

How do you get a frog out of a paper bag?

Ripit

Hannibal Jokes More Hannibal Jokes

Why is Hannibal so rich?

Well, he save on groceries.

Why did Hannibal invade Rome?

OC Well it was kinda hard to avoid, what will all roads leading there and what not.

Afghanistan Jokes More Afghanistan Jokes

What happens if you steal in Afghanistan?

You get Talibanned

Why do people in Afghanistan air dry after they shower?

Because of the towel ban

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why did the hillbillies save some doe?

Because they knew it would give them a buck in good time.

What's the most dangerous, predominantly black area known to man?

Space

Visit Jokes More Visit Jokes

What ward does Sauron visit in the hospital?

ICU

When an ape visits his tailor what kind of a suit does he order?

A zoo-t suit!

Grocery Bag Jokes More Grocery Bag Jokes

What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?

One is white, plastic, and dangerous for your kids to play with and the other holds your groceries