Grocery Jokes

Where do farm animals get their groceries?

The pharmacy.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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Where do crows go to buy groceries?

Kroger

How does a ninja shop for groceries?

No one knows.

Why is Hannibal so rich?

Well, he save on groceries.

Where does the CIA buy its groceries?

Whole Foods

Where is Benedict Arnold's favorite place to shop for groceries?

Traitor Joe's

Where do dogs shop for groceries?

Wagmans.

What do you call a horse who likes to carry all the groceries?

A one trip pony

Where are the groceries?

ME: Bacon was on sale. WIFE: Oh god, what does that mean *sound of dump truck backing into driveway*

Where does the military commander buy his groceries?

The GENERAL STORE HAHAHAHAHAHA IM SO SORRY

Where do safari animals buy their groceries?

From the supermeerkat

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Grocery Store Jokes More Grocery Store Jokes

What do you call a dad that works at a grocery store?

Baghdad

How much is the rent for this amazing apartment?

Ma'am, this is the wine aisle of the grocery store.

Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

How does an SJW screw in a light-bulb?

Zir holds it up to the socket and waits for the world to revolve around zirself.

What is the difference between a camera and a sock?

One holds photos The other holds five

Dementia Jokes More Dementia Jokes

Why did the old man throw the matress out the window?

Dementia

What to hear a joke about dementia?

Pickles

Afghanistan Jokes More Afghanistan Jokes

How did he get from Afghanistan to Iraq?

Iran (He ran). Thought of this when looking at the world map, sorry that it's terrible.

Why aren't there any walmarts in Afghanistan?

Because there's a Target on every corner!

Pre Jokes More Pre Jokes

What was the terrorist's pick up line?

Hey babe, I've got a large pipe bomb and I never pre-maturely detonate.

Child Jokes More Child Jokes

How do mathematicians scold their children?

If I've told you n times, I've told you n+1 times...

What did the Mexican Firefighter name his two children?

Jose and Hose B

People Jokes More People Jokes

Why does Hillary keep bumping into people at the White House?

So she can be pardoned.

What do you call a conversation between two people who are pooping?

Chit-Shatting

Bump Jokes More Bump Jokes

What did the dolphin say to the whale when he bumped into him?

I didn't do it on porpoise.

Why do they call them "country bumpkins"?

Because in the country, you bump your kin!