Grocery Jokes

What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a paper bag?

One is made of plastic and is very dangerous for little kids to play with. The other carries groceries.

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Where do farm animals get their groceries?

The pharmacy.

Where do crows go to buy groceries?

Kroger

How does a ninja shop for groceries?

No one knows.

Why is Hannibal so rich?

Well, he save on groceries.

Where do Americans buy their groceries in Afghanistan?

At the infideli counter.

Where does Jane Fonda buy her groceries?

Traitor Joe's.

Where does the CIA buy its groceries?

Whole Foods

Where is Benedict Arnold's favorite place to shop for groceries?

Traitor Joe's

Where do dogs shop for groceries?

Wagmans.

Where do people in Detroit get their groceries?

They don't.

$Your Age Is Only Math$

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What do you call a horse who likes to carry all the groceries?

A one trip pony

Where are the groceries?

ME: Bacon was on sale. WIFE: Oh god, what does that mean *sound of dump truck backing into driveway*

Where does the military commander buy his groceries?

The GENERAL STORE HAHAHAHAHAHA IM SO SORRY

Where do safari animals buy their groceries?

From the supermeerkat

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French Jokes More French Jokes

Why are there windows on the back of French tanks?

So they can watch the battle

How many eggs do the French use in their omelettes?

Just one, because in France one egg is un oeuf.

Hannibal Jokes More Hannibal Jokes

Why is Hannibal so rich?

Well, he save on groceries.

Why did Hannibal invade Rome?

OC Well it was kinda hard to avoid, what will all roads leading there and what not.

Tater Jokes More Tater Jokes

How is food purchased an an Irish grocery?

You buy it per-tater

Why do new Irish mothers keep dying?

Because they lack taters

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?

Cliff.

What do you get when you give a head of lettuce to an epileptic?

A seizure salad.

Food Jokes More Food Jokes

What kind of food do zombies hate?

Fast food

Who's there? Orange. Orange who?

Orange you glad I painfully waited until I was done cooking your food to take a poop?

Purchase Jokes More Purchase Jokes

How is food purchased an an Irish grocery?

You buy it per-tater

What did the obese man say about the belt he'd recently purchased?

Top notch.

Pre Jokes More Pre Jokes

What was the terrorist's pick up line?

Hey babe, I've got a large pipe bomb and I never pre-maturely detonate.

Pharmacy Jokes More Pharmacy Jokes

Why should you be quiet in a pharmacy?

In case you wake the sleeping pills!

Where do farm animals get their groceries?

The pharmacy.