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How do you keep the Kansas City Chiefs away from your house?

Paint a goal line on your driveway.

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House Jokes More House Jokes

How do you get someone with a doctorate in philosophy to leave your house?

Just pay for your pizza.

What did the house turn into on the night of the full moon?

A Warehouse.

Driveway Jokes More Driveway Jokes

What does your mom and your driveway have in common?

They both have a GARBAGE box.

How can you tell if Asians have broken into your house?

The dog is gone, the homework is done, and they're still trying to get out of the driveway.

Paint Jokes More Paint Jokes

What is the difference between Jesus and a painting?

You only need a nail to hang a painting.

What have men and spray paint in common?

One squeeze and they're all over you.