What Did The Dying Gambler Say To His Wife?

10 bucks says I don't need this oxygen tank

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What did Patrick Stewart say when he proposed to his wife?

Engage.

What do you want your husbands gravestone to say?

Wife: "Nothing. I want a traditional, non-talking one."

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

How do you expect us to loan you money if you can't prove to us that you don't need it?

Banks

What's the difference between swine flu and bird flu?

For swine flu you need "Oinkment", for bird flu you need "Tweetment".