What Did The Dying Gambler Say To His Wife?

10 bucks says I don't need this oxygen tank

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What do you call your wife and mother-in-law when they're riding in the same car?

Dual air bags.

Why did the drunk Mexican shoot his wife?

Tequilher

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How do you ask someone if they're Vegan?

You don't need to, they'll tell you

Why haven't Women landed on the Moon?

Because it doesn't need cleaning yet!