Why would he put that on a resume?

Oh. My. God. You're hired.

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God Jokes More God Jokes

How do we know that God isn't a woman?

Because we're not all sandwiches

What did God say to Mary after impregnating her?

Praise the Load

Hire Jokes More Hire Jokes

Why should I hire you?

Because I have pictures of you with a goat

How can you tell between a graphic designer and recruiter?

Ask them to pronounce "hires"

Resume Jokes More Resume Jokes

What does a hairstylist call their resume?

A tresume.

What's this bit here?

NURSE: ...his heart ME: Hm. NURSE: Your resume said you were a surgeon ME: My resume says a lot of things