Make them wipe their screen because they think text is a smudge.
Make way, children.
GUY WHOSE DESCRIPTION IS SO LONG HE DOESN'T ACTUALLY GET TO SAY ANYTHING:
One is a brick and the other is a brick with a screen
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Me: Well, all the women text you except the one you like. And it hurts, so we drink. Sister: Get away from him!
Honey I'm down at the pub having a pint with the lads. Be home in about 30 min. If I'm not back by then please read this message again.
Left or right Response: why not use toilet paper
Me: A napkin holder K: What's a napkin M: You wipe your hands on it when they're dirty K: You mean like the couch M: ...